Life Begins, a Naoki POV fanfic part 2
by TheMoonFly
Summary: She changed him from cold to feeling again. Now married, Naoki and Kotoko take on the married life. What more may he need to learn?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

There were mumbles and small talk among all of the voices here. None of it concerned us, of course, but one of the voices lifted out above the others. It might've been because she was naturally loud and excitable, but it also might've been because she was sitting right beside me.

"Smile, Irie-kun!" There was a click, just one of many since boarding the plane. I flinched out of the way of a flash and closed my eyes. Between waking up at the crack of dawn to get to my own wedding I had no idea about and getting sent packing to be on a flight a few hours later, I was exhausted. How could she be so full of energy?

The flashes stopped and the flipping of pages took its place. Down the plane aisle squeaked the wheels of a food cart. I shifted.

"Excuse me, ma'am," a woman said, "Would you like something to drink?"

"Oh, yes I would." Kotoko said hurriedly. I heard shuffling and something fall to the floor.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, excuse me." She said, a little more composed now.

"We have coffee, tea, and orange juice." The flight attendant said.

"Coffee, please!" Kotoko said in less than perfect English.

"Certainly." A cup was poured.

"Thank you." Again, in English.

The girl across the aisle giggled. To this, I reopened my protesting eyes.

"Why are you speaking in English?" I said.

"Oh, I didn't know you were awake." She grinned.

"We're going to Okinawa. It's in Japan. You don't need to speak English."

She scrunched up her face in a frown, "I didn't know that. It's just my first time flying, so I studied some English phrases… 'coffee or tea', 'hello', 'thank you'." With her thick accent, this was English not many people would understand.

"You're getting carried away." I peered out the window as my eyelids grew heavier.

"Of course I am!" Kotoko said, "It's our honeymoon." She took out the camera again and gazed at the screen, a sigh rolling off her tongue.

"What?" I glanced over at the screen to see her flipping through the wedding pictures once again.

"I just can't believe we got married. It's like a dream." Kotoko sighed again, her eyes lighting up.

 _How many times is she going to look at those pictures?_

"I'm taking a nap." I said as I finally closed my eyes for good.

"You're really taking a nap right now?" She sounded scandalized, but I was far beyond checking to see if she looked like she sounded.

"We've been running around all day for things I wasn't prepared for. I'm tired." I laid my head against the window and focused on the hum of the jet. I fell down the rabbit hole as quickly as my mother had planned my wedding.

…

The contents of Kotoko's purse scattered onto the seat of the cab. She spread it out and her fingers searched for something out of sight.

"What are you looking for?" I asked as she looked for a moment longer.

"My sunglasses."

"Sunglasses? I thought you were night blind." She started throwing everything back into her purse as we arrived at the hotel.

"Night blind people feel brightness, too," She said, "They must be in my suitcase."

I paid the cab driver and we exited, grabbing our luggage from the trunk.

Kotoko rolled her suitcase into the middle of the check-in and fiddled with the locks.

"It doesn't open." She said and tugged. A grunt escaped her.

"Yeah, right." I knelt down to inspect the suitcase, which had been fully openable when we'd left.

"Do you think the lock is broken?" Kotoko said as she pulled more.

"Don't break it."

Another huge tug later and the suitcase flung open. Kotoko staggered backward.

"It's open!" She said with such excitement, but as her eyes landed on the clothes in the suitcase, her jaw dropped. She picked a revealing bikini top out of the pile and held it in between her thumb and forefinger by a string. I couldn't have imagined her ever wanting to wear something like it.

"Is that yours?" I said and studied it.

Kotoko blushed and giggled, "Oh, no," she said with a wave, "I'd never wear something like this. It's too showy."

 _As I thought._

"Hey, that's mine!" Kotoko and I both turned to see the familiar face of the woman who sat across the aisle on the plane. At her side, she carried an identical yellow suitcase.

Kotoko threw the bikini back into the suitcase, "Is that mine?"

I closed the suitcase back up and handed it to the girl as she rolled Kotoko's bag over to us.

"Sorry about that." I said.

"No need to apologize," the girl's eyes lit up, "I'm Mari."

"And I'm Takumi. We're on our honeymoon, too." Said the man beside her. Mari seemed only a bit annoyed.

On the ground, Kotoko sifted through her actual suitcase and found her sunglasses.

"Here they are," She popped the cover back over it and was to her feet in a flash, "It was nice seeing you two again, but we have to check in." Kotoko started tugging me over to the check-in desk by the arm.

"Us too!" Mari said. She and Takumi hurried up to us, though Mari was in a much bigger rush. She showed a smile and her eyes sparkled the way a predator's would at the sight of its meal.

Kotoko took first place in line where she hurried to check us in. Mari stepped up right beside me and beamed.

"I'm so glad we're staying at the same hotel! We could all hang out and do fun stuff together. Say, how about we all have lunch together after this?" She eyed me hopefully, although I couldn't say I was interested.

"Done!" Kotoko said, "Let's go to our room," She took my arm once again, "It was nice seeing you again." She said to Mari and Takumi. Mari stared after us, seeming offended.

"It's finally just the two of us." Kotoko smiled, warm and inviting.

Arriving at our room, she was giddy with excitement. She lit up as soon as the door was opened.

Wheeling in her suitcase and dropping her purse on the bed, she said, "Wow!" as she eyed everything around her. Upon seeing the patio doors, she made a beeline for them.

"This room is so great! Look, it's the ocean!" I closed the door, as her voice had the tendency to carry far distances, "I can't believe we're in Okinawa! This is so exciting!"

"Calm down, just a bit." I said as she skipped over to the bed and fell onto it.

"The bed is so _big_!" She rolled around, no quieter than before. I picked up the tourist guide and sat down on the sofa. Kotoko finally quieted down.

She came over and sat down next to me.

"Irie-kun?" She said.

"Yeah?"

"Um…" She fidgeted, "I'll do my best to be a good wife. Just don't give up on me." A worried glance made me put down the guide.

"I don't expect too much. Just stay as you are." I brushed a strand of hair away from her face and she blushed furiously.

"The beach." She blurted out.

"Huh?"

"Let's go to the beach! I've never been to the ocean before." Kotoko stood awkwardly and headed for the patio doors.

We headed out into near dusk. Kotoko skipped out ahead of me and watched the ocean with her hands on her hips, "It's beautiful." She said.

"Naoki, Kotoko! Over here!" Mari flagged us down, "There's a couple of open seats over here. Why don't you join us?"

Kotoko didn't seem too thrilled at the idea as she pulled her attention away from the ocean. I headed over to them, Kotoko dragging her feet behind me. Where she was displeased, I'd decided to ignore Mari's obnoxious personality entirely. We were only going to be seeing them for a few days after all.

"Hi again." Takumi said.

"There's a bar around here that we can all get drinks at. Naoki, why don't we go order together?"

"Sure, I gu-" Mari tugged me away from Kotoko and Takumi. I was very familiar with this from being with Kotoko. Mari's eagerness to be around me was far too reminiscent of Kotoko's. I had to be receiving her friendliness the wrong way, however, as she was on her honeymoon and she knew I was on mine.

At the bar, no matter my attempts to lead her arm astray, she held firm. I ordered a simple drink and a fruity one for Kotoko.

"Two drinks?" Mari asked.

"You're not going to get one for your husband?" I said. The word seemed to spring the memory that Takumi existed and she was graced with a sour expression as she said,

"Oh, yeah."

The sun starting to set and two drinks in hand, I came back to our seats. I handed Kotoko her drink and she studied it gleefully.

"Yay, it has pineapple!" She took a sip, "It's sweet."

"I've never been able to enjoy drinks like that. They're too girly. I like a woman's drink." Mari said, taking another swig of her cocktail.

Kotoko downed hers fast and it left color on her cheeks. She headed up to the bar for another.

"So, tell us about yourself. What are you interested in?" Takumi said. He adjusted his glasses.

I had to think for a moment. There was a lot I could tell, but also a lot I didn't feel like sharing.

"Back in Tokyo, I'll be going to college to earn a medical degree." I said. That should be enough for them to know for now.

"I'm _back_!" Kotoko announced. The outdoor lights flicked on as the darkness closed in. She fell back into the chair next to me, drinking this one faster than the last.

"You should slow down, Kotoko."

"Oh, I'm just having fun." She nibbled on her straw.

"You're really going to be a doctor?" Mari said, her face cracking into a huge smile.

"I'm just aspiring to at the moment." I said.

"Even just aspiring to is fantastic," Takumi said, "I'm sure you can do it."

Her second glass now empty, Kotoko giggled and sat up, "That's because he has an IQ of 200! He's a genius." She fell back.

"You two got married after Kotoko pushed you violently, right?" Mari asked.

 _Kotoko and her talkativeness_.

"Violent?" I turned to see her flushed red from alcohol and smiling hard.

"That's because Irie-kun is from a completely different world than me." She shoved my shoulder. I laughed at how intensified her silliness could become after only two glasses of alcohol. She slurped the last few drops of her drink through the straw.

"You still call him Irie-kun? That's funny." Mari tittered, "You're not close enough to call him by his first name?"

"Mari!" Takumi snapped at her.

"It's just a habit." Kotoko waved it off, but I felt our time with these two for the night was expiring. No matter a habit or not, it wasn't Mari's business.

With Kotoko zoned out, I found the perfect opportunity to escape, "She's pretty out of it. I think we should get going back to our room."

"Aw, that's too bad. See you guys later, I hope!" Mari said as I scooped Kotoko out of the chair. She hung around my neck and climbed onto my back.

I toted her all the way back to our room and led her to the bed, "We're back in our room…" She sighed sleepily, "Kotoko, we're back."

Kotoko collapsed onto the bed, her eyes fluttering shut, cheeks twinged with pink. I sat beside her, as if seeing her for the first time. Not as the girl who I'd secretly loved or the one I'd lived with for years, but as my wife. This was the beginning of a life with her and I could still hardly believe the incredible mistake I'd almost made with Sahoko.

I brushed her hair out of her eyes and she took a deep breath.

"I love you, Irie-kun." Kotoko said softly, through her sleepy, alcohol-induced haze. It brought a smile to my lips. I leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"Goodnight, Kotoko."

...


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

"I'm so excited!" Kotoko squealed as she waited for me by the door, all dressed up and ready to go for lunch.

I grabbed our room key and out the door we headed to a restaurant down the street from the hotel. Despite it being our fourth day in Okinawa, we'd still had yet to find time alone with Mari and Takumi seemingly popping up everywhere we went. Today, it would be nice to have time to ourselves.

"What kind of restaurant is it, Irie-kun?" Kotoko said, taking hold of my arm and letting go for nothing.

"Some kind of sushi bar."

"I can't wait. I've never been to a sushi bar before." She smiled at the floor.

Outside, the sun shone the way it had the day before and warmed my back on the walk to the restaurant. Once there, Kotoko beamed through the window and bit her lip smiling. I chuckled at her liveliness as she tugged me through the door.

"Wow, look at how colorful these fish are!" She said as she discovered the fish laid out behind the bar.

A waitress came out from the back of the restaurant, "Table for two?"

"Yes, thank you." I said.

Kotoko followed the woman eagerly as she led us to our seats.

"Newlyweds?"

"Yes, we are!" Kotoko said. Sometimes, I could've sworn she couldn't say it enough.

"What a coincidence," the waitress said, "We have another newlywed couple here too today."

Just then, I heard the voice of the woman who had been the death of yesterday's plans.

"Naoki, Kotoko! There's two seats over here. Come join us!" Mari said, standing from her seat and waving. She seemed rather pleased, although I could say that spending so much time with her was beginning to annoy me. Yesterday it was showing up at the cafe we'd had breakfast at and touring with us. Today, she certainly must've had more plans.

Kotoko's smile became a scowl as we took the seats beside Mari and Takumi.

"I was beginning to question this restaurant, but now that Naoki's here, it's so much better." Mari said. I completely ignored her as Kotoko's frown deepened.

"So, how'd you guys sleep last night?" She continued without needing to hear anything from me.

"We slept fine." Kotoko said.

Mari raised her eyebrows, "Is that so? Just fine? How sad." She pursed her lips and Kotoko blushed. The comment pinched a few of my nerves.

"Maybe you two aren't suited to each other and that's why you're not having a very good honeymoon." She went on and gave me a playful look. I took a side glance at her, offended.

"Mari, that's none of our business," Takumi patted his mouth clean with a napkin and stood, "I'm afraid we should be going."

"Aw, but Naoki-san only just got here." Mari said with a whine.

"Come on, Mari." Takumi said.

"If you want to go, you can, but I want to visit some more." Mari took my arm and smiled up at me with her predatory eyes. Takumi left with his head hung, looking frustrated.

"So, Naoki-san, I have yet to learn anything more about you. What's your favorite color?" Her nails dug into my arm like the claws of an anchor.

"Irie-kun," Kotoko said and I immediately pulled my attention away from Mari, "Um, I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'll be back." She giggled nervously and waddled over to the bathrooms.

"With it being just the two of us now, people might start to think we're on a date." Mari said. Still, I found no words, "Whenever I would go out with Takumi, nobody ever thought we were a couple. But maybe it's just because he's not as handsome as you."

My shoulders tensed and I glared at her. It was outraging how easily she could cheat on Takumi. With every word she said, the less I wanted to be in her presence.

A server brought two menus to the table, but I didn't touch them.

"Hey, do you want to do anything with me later tonight?" She asked.

"What about Takumi?" I said and it seemed to put a damper in her mood.

"I'm back." Kotoko slid into the chair next to mine and picked up a menu to burrow her frown in.

"Actually, I think we ought to get back to the hotel. There's a call I've forgotten I need to make," I pried Mari off of my arm and got up, "Let's go, Kotoko."

And, in step with me on the way out the door, it seemed I was not the only one eager to get away from Mari.

On the walk back, Kotoko slipped her own arm around mine and gave me a grateful look.

…

A large, white chapel stood before us. Kotoko was in awe of it, as she had been of everything in Okinawa.

"What a beautiful chapel," She said as she hurried up the steps to get a closer look, "It's like a palace."

Once inside, her eyes followed the windows all the way up to the ceiling where they stopped.

Caught up in the chapel, she didn't notice a man approach us.

"And who might you lovely couple be?" He said.

"Naoki and Kotoko Irie." I said and held out my hand to shake his.

"What brings you here today?" He held his hands behind his back with a broad grin.

"We were sight-seeing and noticed how beautiful this place is," Kotoko chimed in, wearing a matching grin, "But if you don't mind me asking, why does it look like it's ready for people to get married but no one's here?"

"We do photo shoots for newlyweds on occasion and we happen to have a couple coming in later."

Kotoko's eyes widened in excitement, "We're newlyweds! Do you think we could get our picture taken?"

 _Pictures… I'm sure my mother got more than enough at our actual wedding._

"Well," The man said, "We usually do appointments, but since you're already here and they're not coming until later, I don't see the harm."

"Yay!" Kotoko turned to me, "What do you think, Irie-kun? Do you want to?" Her face hopeful and silently pleading for a yes, I ignored my abhorrence for cameras.

"I guess so." I said.

"Great," He said, "The dressing rooms are down this way. There are a few different suits and dresses to choose from. Just come out when you're ready. Also, here's the sheet you need to fill out with your information on it." He handed me a clipboard and a pen.

Led down a long hall and into two rooms across from each other, I got ready and was out first to wait for Kotoko. A photographer arrived and set up his camera on a tripod. When Kotoko emerged, she wore a lacey dress, pink flowers adorning her hair to match her cheeks. She looked beautiful.

"Looks like we're all ready to go, here!" The chapel director said, "Get up to the altar and we'll start taking pictures."

On the way up, Kotoko stumbled over the long hem of the dress, not unlike her.

In front of the tall windows overlooking the ocean we stood. She took my arm and I placed my hand on the small of her back.

"Good, now smile!"

There was a click and I was reminded of why I hated cameras. A couple more clicks sounded.

"Looking good," the photographer said, "Let's take a few more." I only wanted to be away from here more with each photo taken.

Kotoko looked up to me and I heard a click, "Very good. Now, why don't you place your hand on her shoulder?"

Anything to be done and away from the camera, I complied.

"Give me a smile." He said, but I could hardly find it in me, cameras being the bane of my existence.

"And we're all done here." The photographer said. He brought the camera to us and scrolled through the pictures.

"We're so lucky we could get our pictures taken without a reservation," Kotoko said, "It reminds me of our wedding ceremony." With that, she was ecstatic. I, however, never wanted to do this again.

"Ah, right on time," The chapel director said, "The other couple is ready."

"Other couple?" Kotoko turned to face the hallway and found Mari and Takumi on their way out of the dressing rooms, dressed in all white.

"Oh, you're getting your pictures taken, too?" Mari rushed forward down the aisle. There wasn't one other person I would have hated seeing walk through those doors more. Always clinging and ignoring her actual husband. Whereas Kotoko's clinging was charming, Mari's was greedy.

"What a coincidence, we meet again!" She ran right up to me, a little too close for comfort, "You look so good in a suit. And so tall, too."

There she went, grabbing my arm again. She laid her head on my shoulder, "Our height is perfect for each other," Takumi stood back, his mouth hung open, without a word, "While we're at it, maybe I should take photos with Naoki-san, too."

"I think not." Takumi said, although quietly.

"Kotoko, I'll lend you Takumi-kun. What do you think, Naoki-san?" Kotoko's brows knitted together in upset. I tore my arm away from Mari.

"No. We'll be going now," I said, "Kotoko wanted to buy some souvenirs. Didn't you?"

Kotoko pressed her lips together and nodded, "Y… yes."

Both of us headed back down the hallway and got into our clothes. And then we left, Mari staring me down the whole way, seeming as though her pride had been hurt. I couldn't say she didn't deserve it.

 **A/N: Just so you know, it may be longer in between chapter updates because of my work schedule. But I'll always find a way, so no worries. ;D Happy reading.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

After a long, final day in Okinawa, we'd had yet to hear from Mari or Takumi. It was strange, I thought, since they were only down the hall. I was thankful for it nonetheless. As Kotoko and I prepped for our last evening here, she hummed to herself.

"I'm kind of sad this is our last night here, but I'm happy to be going home." She said.

"Are you almost ready?" I asked. She opened her mouth to answer me, but was interrupted by banging on the door.

"Naoki-san!" I heard Takumi from the other side. Kotoko came out of the bathroom and I opened the door. Takumi was frantic and panting.

"What happened?" I said as he caught his breath.

"Mari… it's Mari! You've got to help her." He ushered me out the door, Kotoko tagging along.

"What's wrong with Mari?"

"I don't know, she just curled up on the bed and started crying about being in pain. You were the first person I thought of. Hurry, hurry!" We turned the corner and he threw open his door with a shaky hand. High-pitched, strained cries filled the air.

"Mari…" Takumi sat on the bed beside her, seeming unsure of what to do.

" _It hurts,_ " she whined as she clutched her stomach, " _It hurts so much._ "

"I don't know what to do. What could be wrong?" Takumi said.

"Why don't you take her to the hospital?" Kotoko said, eyeing Mari as she squirmed on the bed.

"She won't let me because she doesn't want to make this serious."

"Maybe it'll get better if I just keep… lying down." Mari said faintly and then she yowled in pain again.

"Can't you do anything?" Takumi said to me, only becoming more worried.

"He's only aspiring to be a doctor…" Kotoko said. I could see and hear that she wanted to leave, but things like this could be serious.

"I'll take a look." I said, running over her symptoms and trying to put together what she could have, going from what I'd studied so far.

"Does she have nausea or fever?" I asked as I made for the bed.

"No, not either."

"Where does it hurt?" I said to Mari, "Let me see your stomach." She rolled over.

"I think we should call an ambulance." Kotoko stood by the door uneasily.

"That depends on her." I said.

"What about dinner?"

"This isn't the time for that." I leaned over and felt around Mari's stomach. I searched for tension or lumps, but I found nothing abnormal. Still, she wriggled and her knuckles whitened from clamping her fists together. Her eyes squeezed shut.

"Don't!" Kotoko rang out, "Stop touching her! Don't touch another woman!" She looked like she wanted to cry, but this was not something to be jealous over. This was a woman in pain who needed help. Not only that, but I couldn't find anything wrong with her.

"That's enough!" My words seemed to strike Kotoko, "You married a guy who wants to be a doctor. Are you going to be that way every time I see a patient? It's pathetic, and if that's the way it's going to be, then maybe you shouldn't have married me."

 _I don't mean that…_

"Naoki-san, you're going too far." Takumi said, although it could have gone without saying that I'd gone too far.

Kotoko's lip quivered. Tears welled in her eyes as she dashed out the door. I couldn't imagine what I would have to do to make up for that.

"Shouldn't you go after her?" Takumi said, peering out the door.

"I assume Mari has mild food poisoning. The pharmacy is still open, so if you get her some stomach medicine, that should do the trick." I said.

"Thank you very much."

"Takumi… go buy me some." Mari said, back to clutching her stomach and rolling around on the bed.

"Yeah, of course. I'll be right back," He stopped short of running to tell me, "You really should go find your wife."

"Takumi, hurry!" Mari cried at him and he sped out the door.

"So, I'm off." I said, making my way to the door and figuring I ought to find Kotoko before she ends up lost. I was stopped by a familiar pair of claws that dug into my arm.

Mari sat up, suddenly relieved of her extreme pain, "Naoki-san, you really are cold, aren't you? I guess it can't be helped with Kotoko-san as your wife. Perhaps, you don't actually love her after all." She gave me a malicious smile and laughed, as if she'd won me as a prize. But nothing she'd said up until now could have angered me more than this.

"I thought you had a stomach ache." I said, glaring down at her.

"I made it up," She smiled, proud of her schemes, proud that she'd disrupted our night again, "I wanted to be alone with you. I mean… I heard you guys haven't done anything sexual yet, and I think it's understandable. You don't even want to touch her, do you?"

My body went rigid and my nerves set themselves on fire as she went on, "I fell in love with you at first sight. I wish I would have met you first so we wouldn't have both married the wrong person," I suppose she thought my silence was acceptance as she came in closer, "It's not too late." She whispered.

I ripped my arm out of her hands and sent her back onto the bed, "Shut up." I said, not mentally capable of hearing another word out of her mouth.

"What?" She said, and actually looked shocked.

"Even if I met you one hundred times, I would ignore you. Don't compare yourself with Kotoko." Her mouth hung open as I went back out the way I'd come. That woman had no remorse, did she? Did she feel nothing for Takumi at all? How pitiful.

Down the hallway, I paced myself quickly. Knowing Kotoko, she _would_ get lost and being as naive as she was wouldn't help the situation either.

Outside the hotel, the streets were near empty and she was nowhere to be found. I took off down the sidewalk in the hopes that I would come across her as I went. Ten minutes became half an hour and the longer I couldn't find her, the more regret I felt. I couldn't place why I'd said what I said, but I knew I never wanted to say something like that to her again.

My walking led me out of the main part of town and the sidewalk became a narrow street lined with small, beaten-down homes and shops.

What if I couldn't find her, and what if she got hurt? Was I even near where she was? I stopped walking for a moment and massaged my head, trying to get a grip on where she might be.

A shop closed down for the night to my left and I checked my watch to find that it was later than I'd thought. Ten o'clock at night. I sighed.

That was when I heard a scream, if only a faint one. My head shot up and I listened. More screams.

"Kotoko!" I ran in the direction I thought I heard them coming from and they got louder.

" _I don't want a Narita divorce!_ " It was her alright.

When I found her, she was struggling with a man twice her size and who was speaking in English.

"Wait a minute," he said, "Let me help you."

"Somebody help me!" Kotoko said.

"Is something wrong here?" I said. Kotoko turned her tear-stained face to me and sprung into a hug.

"Irie-kun! I thought I'd never see you again." She cried into my shoulder.

"It's okay now," I said, "So, what happened here?" I asked the man.

"I thought she was a lost elementary student. I was trying to help her." He said. I let out a laugh.

"She's my wife." I said in English. The man started laughing.

"Your wife? Man, I'm sorry. My mistake." He laughed harder.

"It's no problem."

Kotoko looked to me with questions, "He thought you were a lost elementary school student and tried to help you."

"Who, _me_? He's not a bad guy?" She said.

"No. You should apologize."

She looked over at the man and bowed, "I'm sorry." She said in her garbled English.

"It's alright, it's alright," he said as he continued to laugh, "You guys are nice. Good luck in your marriage."

"Thank you!" Kotoko waved him goodbye.

"You guys have a good night."

On the walk back to the hotel, neither of us had anything to say. But at the entrance to the hotel, Kotoko broke the silence.

"Why don't we go to the beach?" She said. We walked around the side of the hotel and came to the back where the beach had been deserted for the night. Kotoko walked out to the water's edge and stared out at the ocean, the moon high in the sky. I joined her there.

"Thank you for coming to get me." She said.

"Your screams were real loud," I laughed again, "Narita divorce… how classic. But technically, it would be a Haneda divorce, wouldn't it be?"

She peered at me in embarrassment, "I'm sorry about earlier. I was being so stupid, and jealous-"

"You really worried me, you know." I brought her into a kiss and all of my tension released.

Without another word, we let ourselves in through the patio door and she squeezed my hand tight as I led her into the room. Her face red, she brought me down onto the bed with her.

"It took us a while to get here." I said, remembering the countless times we'd been interrupted by Mari.

"I know, but it's okay."

"Not with me." I kissed her again and let my lips trail down her neck. She melted into me and clung to me. I kissed her forehead, her eyes, her nose. I felt goosebumps rise on her skin as she cuddled into my shoulder.

Kotoko reached her hands under my shirt and traced along my skin with her fingertips. She smiled softly as I too got goosebumps. After that, these tender moments became even more so as we became so much more than just together.

And as she slept beside me and I lied awake, I couldn't help but pull her closer.

 **A/N: Ok, the real question here is how far do y'all want me to go into** _ **those**_ **moments? Cuz I could go just a little farther than that, but I ain't about that lemon life, ya feel. (edit - ending has been updated)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

 **A/N: Hi, guys! Sorry for the wait, but we're back and up and running. I'm so excited to finish this fic, and I hope you enjoy reading. ;D**

With a fresh start in a whole new class, I was ready to face whatever obstacles lay ahead. Even if one of those obstacles was a headache, formerly known as Seiichi Funatsu. Top of his class… until I switched departments recently and destroyed his image. An image that must not have been very strongly upheld for it to have been destroyed so easily.

From the very front corner of the class, he snuck me glares, as if warning me to back off. But he was not going to scare me into lowering my grades. Maybe instead, he should have been focusing on bettering his for the last two weeks instead of trying to intimidate me.

A simple smirk caused him to turn his eyes in disgust.

As we neared the end of the class, the professor turned to the class, "Before you all go, it's time to announce who has won the opportunity to go to Kobe."

Ah, yes. The academic conference. I held no interest in such an event, but I had surely been one of the best candidates.

Funatsu froze, as if anticipating the worst. Either that or he was readying to spring at the chance to rub it in my face if he won.

"Naoki Irie, I am proud to announce that you have been chosen to honor this class in going to Kobe and giving a formal presentation the day after next." He said. Filled with fury, I presumed, Funatsu's back stiffened.

"Why was _he_ chosen?" Funatsu said, "No matter how you look at it, I'm far better. I've been in this class for the full two years, and he only just got here." He stood and came over to me.

"Irie, if you're a man, why can't you acknowledge how much better than you I am, fair and square?" So full of himself, and so insecure with me around.

"I understand." I said, though not really caring.

Funatsu's face lit up, as though he had finally won. Like I was admitting he was right… but that wasn't going to happen while I still held top spot.

"Right!"

"I understand very well." I continued, if only to get him going.

"You finally get it." He said with a relieved sort of smile.

"You really do like being in second, don't you?" I said. His smile broke.

Class ended and a glare followed me out the door.

"You are nothing compared to me, Naoki Irie!" Funatsu shouted after me, but I ignored it and made a turn for the main hall.

Around the corner and down the hall stood Kotoko. Beside her, a girl with blonde hair. She seemed foreign.

"Kotoko, what are you doing here?" I said. She turned a brilliant smile toward me.

"Irie-kun!" she beamed, "This is Chris. She's an exchange student from England, and my classmate. Chris, this is my husband." Kotoko shone at the word 'husband'.

"Nice to meet you, Chris." I introduced myself, but she looked through me with an almost airy expression. She didn't respond.

"We're going to my father's restaurant, so if you're free, I was wondering if you wanted to come too."

"Is that alright with you?" I asked Chris, since she'd had yet to speak a word to me. Still a blank expression. No words.

"Chris?" Kotoko asked, and she snapped out of whatever kind of strange trance she was in.

"Oh, yes! It's alright with me," She giggled and stuck out her hand to shake mine. It was just a little odd.

"Missing your next class then?" I heard Funatsu from behind me. Nothing ever stopped him from trying to grind at my nerves.

"Rest assured, even in missing my next class, my grades are not going to drop." I said to him and watched him boil over.

"Just you watch, Irie. You'll never be number one." If it had been possible, I thought steam would have risen out of his ears.

"I already am, Funatsu."

"Well, meet us there then!" Kotoko intervened as she and Chris started out of the building.

Leaving Funatsu behind and dropping my things off at my locker the next hall over, I made for Kotoko's father's restaurant. By the time I got there, Kotoko and Chris had already ordered.

" _Why must_ he _come?_ " I heard Kinnosuke say under his breath, probably hoping to get in some precious time with Kotoko without me there. I had been around much more frequently after all.

I sat beside Kotoko, across from Chris.

"Would you like a menu, Naoki?" Her father asked.

"Yes, thank you."

Kinnosuke yapped on about "just get a divorce already" and I chose quickly. He came by to collect the menu and continued grimacing.

"Don't you talk, blondie? Do you know Japanese?" He said to Chris, as she seemed dazed yet again.

"Hello?" He waved at her.

"This is Chris," Kotoko introduced them, "She's studying abroad for half a year. This is Ikezawa Kinnosuke, but I call him Kin-chan. He used to be my classmate, but now he's an amazing chef." She said to Chris, but she still looked to be off somewhere else.

A small smile touched at her lips but that was all we got from her.

"Is there something wrong?" Kotoko said.

"Kotoko, I'm going to be honest!" She finally said, "I've found someone that I like. I don't think I've felt it this strongly before. You might feel bad, but…" Kotoko's eyes widened and she glanced over at me and then back at Chris, "please let me say it! The person that I like is…"

She stood and Kotoko flung herself over me as Chris reached over the table, "No, he's _my_ husband!" Kotoko yelled, but Chris reached for Kinnosuke and planted a kiss on him. His eyes bulged out of their sockets in confusion or surprise. My own mouth hung agape at Chris' bluntness.

"Hey." I poked Kotoko in the shoulder and she lifted her head.

" _Huh?!_ "

Kinnosuke stumbled and hit the floor.

"Oh my! Are you okay, Kinnosuke?" Chris said and tried gathering him up, but he was useless to the point that Kotoko's father ended up just letting him rest at a booth.

Having had kitchen experience, I obliged to help with dishes until the restaurant was less busy. Kotoko and Chris went back to their classes and I stayed to listen to one of the head chefs mutter about Kinnosuke fainting at such a busy time. It really was just like him though, to faint over a simple peck on the lips. So much time had passed but he was still an idiot.

When I did leave, classes were over, so I headed straight home. With Kotoko not yet home, I picked up a book but I was disrupted the second I flipped open the cover. Some things never change.

"I'm home!" Kotoko announced and came marching into the room with an armful of books, "I'm beat." She flopped onto the bed.

I kept my eyes on the book in front of me.

"Hey," she turned on her side to talk, "Can you believe what happened at the restaurant? Who would've known Chris likes Kin-chan?"

"She sure does have strange taste," I said before getting to a different subject, "Anyway, I have to leave for a few days."

Kotoko perked up and crinkled her eyebrows, "You're leaving for a few days?"

"Yeah, three days starting tomorrow. I was chosen for an academic conference in Kobe." I said.

"Could it be about the presentation you told me about? The one where your teacher was choosing between you and a few others?"

"Yes, I was chosen today."

She leapt forward in excitement, "Awesome!" she squealed, "Isn't this great?"

"It's not anything special." I said, but she refused it.

"That's not true!" She said and went on celebrating for me, "You're on a whole different level. So, how'd it go with Funatsu?"

"Oh, him," I was reminded of how arrogant he was earlier, despite having lost to me, "He didn't take it very well. It's too bad, too. If he didn't have such a bad temper, he could be a good surgeon."

"Is he really that good?"

"Yeah. Nobody can match his surgical skills."

"Even you?" Kotoko asked, clearly not even being able to fathom such a thing.

"Well, I wonder." I said. Truthfully, he made me doubt my success in the trade. However, if I remained at the top, it still meant I was better at it than he was, "I wonder what'll happen with a twisted personality like his."

"Ugh!" Kotoko sat on the bed, "It'll be so lonely not seeing you for three days," She grabbed her teddy bear and hugged it to her, "Looks like it's just me and you."

That was when I heard her catch her breath. Her eyes casted down to the floor and she swallowed hard.

"What's wrong?" I said.

"Nothing. Just that ever since lunch I've been feeling a little sick." She rubbed her stomach with a foul look on her face.

"Probably just overate again."

"Why do you immediately think it's that?" She seemed offended, so I felt her forehead. To my surprise, she might not have simply overstuffed herself this time as she was slightly warm.

"You might have a slight fever," I said, "Lay down and show me your stomach."

"Don't get perverted, now." She giggled and laid back where I felt nothing abnormal about her stomach. Probably just a bug, was all it was.

And then I packed for the next day's train to Kobe.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

I was exhausted. These last three days had been nothing but movement, hearing presentations, and then going to bed late. The one thing I needed was some rest before class tomorrow. But somehow the sign on the front door told me I might not get any.

 _Ring twice if you're Naoki!_

I rang the doorbell twice and shifted the weight of my bag over to my other shoulder. I waited a moment before opening the door, hearing shuffling.

The moment I set foot inside, I was hit with confetti poppers, my whole family waiting lined up at the door. Were they celebrating my return? I'd only been gone for three days so it seemed a little excessive.

"What's this about?" I said as I wiped the strings of confetti from my sleeve.

"Kotoko has something she needs to tell you." My mother said with a special kind of enthusiasm. Kotoko stepped toward me, her cheeks bright red.

"Go on, tell him!" My mother encouraged but I was still confused. Was this not something she could tell me in private?

"You see…" she started, only to stop short and bite her lip hesitantly.

"You see…" she began again.

"Stop with the 'you see'." Kotoko looked to the floor.

"You see… oh, sorry. Um…" She said and then mumbled something.

"What was that?" I waited.

"I think we might be having a baby." She turned redder as my family celebrated behind her. I couldn't quite process it.

"Really?" I asked, frozen in shock.

"I guess."

That was when I took the time to peer around me. Baby toys and clothes littered the table in the hallway, baby names posted on the wall above it. It brought me out of my head.

"Have you been to the hospital yet?"

"No, I haven't-"

"Let's go." I took her hand and led her out the door.

"Go?" She said as I pulled her along, "Right now?"

"I'll call for a cab!" My father yelled after us.

The cab ride was silent. I realized I'd been in such a rush that I'd accidentally brought my briefcase along. But that was the last thing on my mind.

 _A baby?_

I thought as I looked Kotoko over, lingering slightly on her stomach.

 _I might be a father?_

It stirred a strange feeling in me. I hadn't thought much about this part of my life yet. Did I want it, or did I not?

A string of images chased through my mind. Images of a family, of a baby, of a future. I did want to be a father one day. And maybe that day would be sooner than expected. Kotoko glimpsed me watching her and gave me a strange look, maybe wondering what I was thinking.

The cab pulling up in front of the hospital, I took Kotoko by the hand again and brought her through the doors. From there, we were sent to the gynecology unit and made to wait.

"Is it embarrassing to be the only man here?" Kotoko asked.

I shook my head, "Not really."

Kotoko went quiet again before saying, "Hey, Irie-kun… What did you think when I said we might be having a baby?" I could tell that this question was troubling her, but I didn't know how to answer it.

"Irie-san?" A nurse called, "Kotoko Irie-san?" Kotoko stood.

"Yes?"

"Come on back now." She took one last look at me before disappearing behind the door.

One by one, the other girls went back and came out, but still no Kotoko. While alone, I thought about the family we might have. I wondered if she really was pregnant and, if she was, whether it was a boy or a girl. For a moment, I felt like a father.

This could change everything, however I didn't think of it as being the worst thing in the world. Just a change. And for that, the smallest bit of panic I'd had earlier was long gone. I was calm.

When Kotoko finally reappeared, she shuffled her feet. Stopping in front of me, she was silent for a long second or two. And then she bowed at me in apology.

"I'm so sorry!" She said. Part of me was disappointed, although I'd had the feeling she wasn't pregnant.

"I see," I said, "So, it was a mistake, then."

"Yes, it was! I'm sorry!" She said, "A big, big, big mistake. My stomach hurt and I was late, so…"

I sat back down, "Geez. And you jumped to conclusions without visiting a doctor either." She took the bench beside me, "But I guess it was my mother who blew it all out of proportion, right?"

"It was my fault they had such expectations."

"But if there's no baby, then there's no baby. There's nothing we can do about it." I said.

"Yeah," Kotoko's face fell, "but to say there is no baby… it kind of makes me sad."

…

It was dark by the time we got home, but still our parents waited.

"So?" My mother said the moment we got through the door, expectant of good news, "What did the doctor say?"

Kotoko hesitated, "I'm not having a baby." She slipped her shoes off and headed upstairs.

My mother was visibly disappointed, "But I was so sure. My instinct is never wrong."

"Oh, mama." My father hugged her around the shoulders, "They're young, they have more than enough time to have kids."

"I know. But I was so sure!"

I followed behind Kotoko and found her getting ready for bed.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

"Yes. I'm fine." She said, although I couldn't tell if she was or not.

I went to the bathroom to get ready for bed as well, and when I came out, she was gone. She wasn't in the living room, the kitchen, or anywhere else I checked. That was when I saw her out the patio doors, sitting on the swinging bench just outside the doors. I watched as she gazed up at the night sky.

I slid the door open and joined her.

"Feeling down?" She was startled by my presence, but made room on the bench, "You should go inside before you catch a cold."

"It's okay. Even if my stomach hurts, I don't catch colds. I'm stupid, remember?" She said, sounding slightly more peppy than before.

"That's true."

"What? You should have corrected me. So mean!" I chuckled at it.

"How could I correct it?" I said, especially when she didn't know I was only teasing her.

I joined her in watching the sky.

"Hey, Irie-kun."

"Yeah?"

"Isn't it nice to look at the same sky together like this?" She said, not pulling herself away from what few stars she could glimpse over the bright Tokyo lights. "It's nice to see things from the same view."

"Yeah." More calm followed.

After a minute, Kotoko said, "I've been thinking for some time. Of course, my thoughts might be naive, and I honestly don't know if I would succeed or not, but I've been thinking about what I want to do the most…" she paused, "You'll probably make fun of me for it, but the thing I want to do the most is help you with your job. In other words, become a nurse."

She stopped, but I let her continue.

"Today in the hospital, with all the doctors and nurses, I confirmed it with myself. From now on, I want to study properly and graduate, and I'll become a nurse. You might say it's impossible for me, since it's a job that handles life. But I've thought this out completely. That's why I want to be a nurse." She finished, "What do you think, Irie-kun?"

"As you know, nurses deal with saving lives. One mistake could cost a life." I informed her.

"I know. I thought about it a lot."

"Unlike any part time jobs you've had before, this requires a lot of serious determination. Unless you have the feeling of really wanting to save people, you can't do it. Do you have those feelings?"

"I want to help you and be useful. If I become a nurse and help patients, I'll be helping you indirectly, right? Then I'll save patients with everything I've got! I may not have much confidence, but I have confidence in believing I can do this." Her big brown eyes stared up at me. She sounded like the girl I met in high school, with all that determination. I could tell this was one of those things that she wanted, and that she would get. It brought a smile to my face. Some things never changed.

"Oh, you…" I stretched, "Even if I tried to stop you, you'd do it anyway, wouldn't you?"

She jerked her head up and down with resolution.

"Then do everything you can do to become a nurse." She beamed, "In order to become a nurse, you'll need a nursing degree. You'll have to pass some pretty hard exams."

"Oh, right… exams," she put on her best fighting face, "Right! Well, I'll do my best!" I patted her on the head and she relaxed onto my shoulder. I remembered the question from earlier, the one probably still plaguing her mind.

"At the gynecologist, you asked me what I thought when you said you thought you were pregnant. And honestly, for a moment, my mind went completely blank. But while you were getting examined and I was waiting for you, I thought about a lot of things. I had a feeling you weren't pregnant, but if you were… for a short while, I felt like a father."

Kotoko grinned, "What was that like? To feel like a father?"

"It was pretty good." I admitted.

"It was good for me too." She said.

I put my arm around her shoulders and kissed her on the forehead.

"I think I've started to want a kid. Just a little bit." Kotoko's eyes widened.

"Huh?" She said.

"Should we make one?"

She raised her eyebrows, "Irie-kun…"

I pulled her in for a kiss and felt the world melt away.

...


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: sorry it took so long to update, life has been kicking my *ss. Happy reading! ;D**

 **Chapter Six**

" _Please_ ," she begged, full of hope, "I don't think I could make it without your help and I really want to be able to graduate the same year as you, but I won't be able to if I don't pass the test!"

"If you can't pass this exam by yourself, how do you expect to pass all of the other nursing exams?" I said and she put on her best puppy dog face.

" _Please, Irie-kun_. Just this once." Kotoko said, but I knew she would be wanting help throughout the year. Nonetheless, I sighed and seated myself at the desk, throwing my bag on the floor.

"Come on, let's get it started."

It wasn't ten minutes in, however, that she became continually distracted. It didn't frustrate me so much as it did when I was in high school, but it did leave a tick on my back.

I stopped for a second to watch her staring at me and then continued with helping, "So, this became negative one-fifth, right? Then the tangent would be…" I stopped again, my gaze drifting distractedly back over at her listful expression.

"What?" I said.

"Hey, Irie-kun…" Kotoko blushed.

"What is it?"

"Can we go on a date if I pass?" She smiled into the tip of her fuzzy pen. It was so like her to get caught up in fantasies, I didn't know why I bothered to try helping.

"Kotoko…" The tick on my back moved to my brain.

"Look, if I have something to look forward to, I'll be more motivated to study."

 _Or too distracted by daydreams to study._

"Besides, we haven't had a proper date yet!" I laid my chin in my hand.

"Aren't we always together?"

"But we haven't really gone out together…" I remembered last year when I showed her the view of the river.

"We went to Odaiba." I said.

"That was me following you on your date with Matsumoto."

 _I still asked you to go somewhere with me after._

"Speaking of which! You've had a date with her but not me! Isn't it strange you've never had a date with your pitiful wife? Please, Irie-kun, just once!" She squeezed my arm, biting her lip expectantly.

"Alright, alright, whatever will get you to study faster." I said, feeling a break in my mentality.

"Really? Oh, I'll study so hard!" She let out one last excited squeak before getting settled down for some actual studying.

…

Three weeks later, after having studied rigorously and taking the nursing exam, Kotoko finally got her results back. I couldn't say they were spectacular, but she had passed. Which meant I was taking her on a date tomorrow.

In our bedroom, she had multiple outfits laid out, talking to my mother in a high pitch. Why was she so excited about a date when we were already married? Oh yeah. It _was_ Kotoko after all.

"Was the studying hard?" My mother asked.

I tuned in for this bit, "It wasn't that difficult. I'd say it was relatively easy." She giggled.

"Not that difficult?" I said, finding that hard to believe.

"Well…" she said, "Welcome home!"

I slung my bag over the desk chair and Kotoko zipped from the bed to snatch a piece of paper from the desktop.

"What's that?" I asked and tried to sneak a peek but she pulled it out of view.

"It's for our date tomorrow. I thought about it overnight, and I really want it to go as scheduled." Kotoko grinned.

"Overnight?" My mother said, "You've put in a lot of effort. Naoki-chan is so lucky." She squeezed Kotoko by the arms excitedly.

"Could've spent the effort studying to be a nurse…" I reminded them, as such was much more important if she really wanted to be a nurse in the near future. But I was ignored.

"What's in it?"

"It's a secret for only me to know."

But later while she bathed, I took the paper from where she'd stashed it in the end table drawer so I could read the secrets for only her to know.

 _11:30: Irie-kun arrives thirty minutes before the arranged time at the agreed location!_

 _12:05: A little past our arranged time, I appear!_

 _12:30: We go into the movie theater and watch a romantic movie as Irie-kun holds my hand!_

 _2:30: Kiss Irie-kun on a romantic boat ride!_

It read, hearts sprinkled all around the paper. Such a silly, simple plan. But I hadn't helped her study to follow some ridiculous plan all day.

I slipped the paper back into place and she was already gone by the time I woke up the next day. She had left a whole two hours early, or so my mother had explained to me the moment I went downstairs. Kotoko had already left, why hadn't I?

Because I had no intention of following a plan or wasting thirty five minutes standing around on the bridge just so she could run up five minutes late.

And when I got there at 12:05, I spotted her right away, crouching behind a pillar and watching anxiously.

"What are you doing behind there?" I asked and her head spun around so fast I was surprised she hadn't given herself whiplash.

"Irie-kun, thank goodness you arrived safely!" She said, no longer hiding.

"I thought we were supposed to meet at noon, why did you leave to hide out here for two hours?"

"Well, that's because…" She started.

"I really don't understand you sometimes. Let's go."

She skipped up to my side and linked her arm around mine as we walked a block to the movie theater.

Outside it, two billboards stood as the main attraction. One was of an action movie called 'Dark Fire' and the other of a romance called 'Eternal Love'. I wondered if perhaps I could push any farther buttons.

"I'd prefer the action movie." I said. Kotoko frowned at me slightly and reached into her pocket, pulling out two tickets to 'Eternal Love'.

"Tada! I got them ahead of time. It's supposed to be very romantic." She pulled me past the lines and into the theater where we had our tickets stamped.

"Come on, I want to sit right in the middle. It's the best spot." She urged as she pushed past people. She plopped down into a seat in the middle row and grinned at me through the darkness, no doubt waiting for me to hold her hand. Instead, the movie started. Throughout it, I watched her sneak glimpses at me, waiting, but eventually she grew tired of it I assumed as she laid her head on my shoulder and fell asleep. I chuckled silently at how worked up she was getting over this.

I endured the last of the movie and shook her awake, "Kotoko," I tapped her on the shoulder. She bolted upright.

"What, what happened?"

"The movie's over." I said, "Let's go." I helped her up and from there we walked to the park near the lake. Kids threw frisbees, people walked their dogs, a woman littered bread crumbs on the sidewalk for birds. The trees above us were blossoming.

"I've always wanted to come to a place rich in nature like this." Kotoko said and smiled at the sky.

"Hey, let's ride a boat!" She pointed toward the dock. I remembered something exceedingly funny about this particular lake, and it was something she would flip over if she knew.

"Let me get a drink first." I said and wandered away to a vendor. I waited through a long line and when I got back, I couldn't find Kotoko.

"Kotoko?" I called for her. When I got no answer, I worried for a moment. That was when I found her bent over a child on the sidewalk, the kid's mother in a panic.

"Here, hold him up. Let me unbutton his shirt." She said.

"Kotoko," I hurried over, Kotoko looking like a deer in headlights, "What's wrong?" I knelt before the mother and child.

"I don't know. He started coughing and he won't stop!" I could see her fighting back tears as she rocked her son gently and patted him on the back. He wheezed, "I don't know what to do."

"Does he have asthma?" Was the first thing I could think of.

"No, he doesn't."

"Hold him upright to help him breathe. Kotoko, please call an ambulance."

An ambulance arrived in no time and paramedics took the boy aboard.

"Thank you," His mother said, shaking my hand, "Thank you." She followed him on board and they went off, sirens wailing.

"Wow, Irie-kun." Kotoko said, seeming a bit frazzled but daydreamy nonetheless.

"Hm?"

"You're usually so cold, but you were really nice with them." She linked her arm around mine again as we walked back to the dock.

"That's nothing special." I said. That was the way doctors were supposed to treat their patients.

"I know… you just seemed like a really reliable doctor, that's all." She beamed and ran ahead of me.

"You were a pretty good nurse back there, too." I said and she simply smiled, blood running up her cheeks.

The docks were nearly empty when we got there and we booked a boat for half an hour. A man opened the gates for us and ushered us into a boat. I took the paddles and began rowing.

"This date was a little different from how I imagined." Kotoko said, gazing into the water, "I came up with a lot of plans, but in the end, if they had gone that way, it would've been boring, right? I think I'm happy just to be out with you."

I laughed again at what I'd remembered earlier about this pond.

"What is it?"

"Don't you know? Couples who ride boats on this pond break up," Her eyes widened, "The goddess that protects this park is a woman. Apparently, she gets jealous of the couples and makes them break up."

Kotoko tightened her lips into a nervous line, "N-no way!" She stood from her seat.

"Don't stand up, we'll capsize." I brought her back down to my level.

"You… you knew and still…" she stuttered with fear in her eyes. The legend was only a fairy tale, but she seemed to think otherwise.

"We're already in the boat, there's nothing you can do now." She frowned and I could see her getting upset.

"Why didn't you tell me before we got on?" She shoved me, and then again as she said, "We shouldn't have gotten on this-"

I kissed her, adoring how upset she got over a mere legend of a goddess that didn't exist. I forgot about ruining her date plan and let her have something she wanted for a change.

"This was the kind of date you wanted, right?" I said, "To kiss on a boat?"

She stared at me.

"What was before that? Ah, to hold hands in the movie theater."

"You read it?" She said with a bit of a cringe, "How could you be so _mean_?!" She shoved me again and the boat rocked.

"Honestly, I didn't want to follow your date plan. But you stayed up late to plan this, so I had to give you at least one thing."

Her frown lightened.

"So, are you going to believe in some stupid superstition and get off the boat? Or…?"

I pulled her to me once more, this time wrapping my arms around her, and kissed her right in the middle of the lake for everyone to see and letting something go according to plan. She deserved as much, and more.

...


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: short chapter, but I really wanted to get an update out there. Promise to try being more consistent. ;D enjoy**

 **Chapter Seven**

The morning of the new semester, also known as the day Kotoko would begin her reign of terror among the nursing department, she was up bright and early. On the end table beside the bed a note laid unread.

 _I'm leaving early today for classes! If you need to find me, I'll be a department away!_

 _Kotoko_

I could hear the excitement in her handwriting. I only hoped she wouldn't be taking this opportunity to drop by my classes whenever she felt like it when she needed to be in her own.

When I got downstairs, Kotoko was already gone although she'd left me a cup of coffee from her brew. The taste of it reminded me of last winter. And not unlike last winter when I lived alone, I drank my coffee in silence as the calming morning light warmed my skin.

"Oh, Onii-chan," my mother announced herself, "Kotoko left her wallet on the counter, do you think you can bring it to her?" She held it out to me. I downed my last sip of coffee and took it from her.

"Yeah." I said. Kotoko had probably been so excited, I was surprised she hadn't forgotten her shoes, or worn mine instead. But my shoes were intact at the door when I put them on and made for my classes.

Entering the medical department building, nothing seemed in disarray so perhaps Kotoko was creating a good name for herself on her first day.

Wallet in hand, the first thing I did was make a stop at the nursing department. I opened the door and a few heads turned. Almost everyone was silent despite the professor not having arrived yet. I searched for her.

In the back of the class, Kotoko and a few others were huddled together, "Kotoko," I called to her. Instead of smiling like she normally would've and waving me over, her face turned bright red. What had been going on before I got there?

I showed her her wallet as I came forward, "You left this behind. My mother told me to bring it to you." Her friends' eyes followed me unblinkingly, particularly one male nurse who didn't seem too fond of me. She took her wallet from me without a word, still blushing hard.

"See you later." I said as I made my exit.

Entering my own classes was a bit of a chore as the moment Funatsu spotted me, he went in for the kill.

"Naoki Irie, back again I see," He said and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, "My time for redemption has come."

"Sure it has."

"You say that now but you won't be so smug after this semester's exams! I studied all break." He sniffed and stared me down for a solid few seconds.

"Hey, Funatsu," Hitomo said, "Don't you think we should invite him to next Saturday?" Funatsu shot him a look of pure venom.

"Saturday?" I said.

"Yeah, he's got a reservation at a high scale restaurant and he's invited all the top scorers in this class. You're number one so I don't see why you shouldn't go." He said and I smirked.

"I'll go." I said, bursting Funatsu's bubble and watching him boil.

I got all the information from Hitomo before the professor arrived and we sat for our first classes of the semester.

…

Once home, it took not a second before Kotoko started on about her day. She'd met a few new friends, one very strict professor scolded her for not being on time, and she'd been so bad at the first assignment that she made her group late getting out of class.

I laughed as she told me all this. It was a change of studies, not a change of personalities for her. This was going to be tough on her.

"And not only that, but earlier today, none of my friends believed I was married to you until you brought me my wallet." She pouted.

So that had been what I walked in on.

I patted her on the head and her mood brightened, "By the way, I won't be home until later next Saturday. I'm going to dinner with some of my classmates." I said.

"Oooh, which ones?" Kotoko crawled onto the bed and got comfortable.

"Funatsu, Hitomo, Otaka, Shigure…"

"But isn't Funatsu the one who's always telling you he's better than you?" She said. I nodded.

"Where are you guys going?" Kotoko asked with an overly innocent look. I'd familiarized myself with that face long ago.

"Nowhere you'd know." I said and moved to take my jacket off.

"But how do you know I wouldn't know if you won't say?" She whined.

"If I tell you where, are you going to make reservations at the exact same place at the exact same time?" She pressed her lips together and crinkled her brows. She said nothing else.

 _Just as I thought._

"Or I could just follow you." Kotoko retaliated. I sighed. I didn't doubt that she had it in her to follow me there, but whether she actually would or not would be answered on Saturday. Until then, I planted a kiss on her forehead and got ready for bed.

...


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

At seven o'clock on Saturday night, everyone was on time and our reservation was waiting.

"Welcome!" One of the hosts said as Funatsu got ahead of everyone else.

"I have a reservation for seven o'clock under Funatsu." He said.

"We've been awaiting you," he came out from behind the desk, "Your companions are this way."

 _Companions?_

I wondered as the host led us to a back room of the restaurant, "Here we are." He opened a sliding paper screen door to reveal another set of people.

"What a coincidence!" One of Kotoko's new friends from the nursing department yelled as we came in.

"You're Tonan University's medical students, right? We're second years from the nursing department. It's okay if we eat together, isn't it?" She said as though she'd been expecting us. I'd thought Kotoko might pop in or watch me from afar, but I'd have never guessed her to bring a group of friends to crash Funatsu's dinner. I couldn't really understand why she would.

"We're okay. Right, everyone?" Hitomo said but Funatsu seemed dumbfounded.

"Sounds better than just partying with guys." Another said, "What a coincidence, right Irie?"

Finally I spotted her cowering behind her group of friends, looking as guilty as ever.

"Kotoko!" I said and she jumped. Then she smiled.

"Isn't this a great coincidence, Irie-kun?" She said, but her attempt to sound clueless was pointless.

"What coincidence? You're the one that did it."

"Oh!" Funatsu gasped, "That's why you called me last night! I _thought_ it was weird you were asking about the restaurant."

" _Shhhh_ ," Kotoko tried shushing as she gaped at him.

 _Caught you_.

I glared at her as I wondered why her friends would have wanted to come along. Funatsu was bland at best. This wasn't going to be a very great party to begin with.

Kotoko giggled, "Alright, let's just sit down and start eating."

The girl who first greeted me, whose name was Marina so I'd learned, started passing around plates of food. I couldn't help but notice that she gave special attention to me as she handed me some food to try.

"Here, Irie-san! Try it!" She said and headed back to her table where Kotoko also sat.

"Thank you, Marina! You're so considerate."

"Oh really? Thank you! I always try to be like this, so…"

I couldn't help but hearing a certain twinge in her voice, that maybe she was trying to impress someone.

As we ate, she migrated over to our table and Funatsu stiffened as if holding his breath.

"How's the food, Irie-san?" She asked.

"It's great."

"It was a bit too spicy for me," Marina said and took a sip from the glass in her hand, "I like the wine though."

That was when another of the nurses came by. He was a he, but he wore makeup and seemed to fit in better with the girls than with the boys. I wondered if the same could be said for the second male nurse who'd come along tonight.

"You're sitting too close to him, why don't you scoot over?" He said, and Marina complied with a slight frown.

With the plates having been taken away, the party now relied on sake and wine. And surprisingly, Funatsu seemed to be the most lively as he was halfway deep in a bottle of sake. I saw Kotoko leave her seat with Marina to go and visit him.

I overheard Marina say something that would send him into a fit just then.

"You're second best in the class, right? Just below Irie-san?"

Funatsu's face became red, although the sake had already done most of the work for him, "It's always Irie, Irie, Irie!" He jumped up, "But you guys just watch. I will win and then you will take back what you just said! Understand?"

Marina seemed perplexed as Funatsu sat back down while mumbling something about how she would go out with him.

Kotoko and Marina returned to their table, Kotoko now planting herself beside the second male nurse who I hadn't heard much from tonight. She poured herself a glass of wine and I thought about joining her where she sat but decided to stay put. I did, however, keep an eye on how much she drank.

I found myself surprised by her slurred speech after just a few drinks.

"Kamogari Keita!" She said, needing to take her voice down a few notches.

"What is it?" The way that he looked at her… he had a little too much awe for her and it set me on edge.

"I'm older than you, ya'know? By three years!" She then held up two fingers instead of three.

"So?" He said.

"So you need to respect me more, _ya'know_? You're always nagging me." She swung her arm across his shoulders and swayed, spilling her drink.

" _Eeee_ , that's cold!"

"Well, you did it!" Keita pinched Kotoko's cheeks together and smiled at her. It was way too close for comfort. The pit of my stomach burned with anger. He should not have been putting his hands on my wife.

I watched closely as he helped her clean it up and all I wanted to do was leave with Kotoko.

"Hey, don't fall asleep in public." I heard the _nurse_ say as Kotoko laid herself over the tabletop, giggling with her eyes closed.

One of her friends tried to poke her awake but she didn't budge.

"I'll just take her home. I haven't had anything to drink anyway." Keita said as he started to move. It made my skin crawl to think of him touching her.

 _Not if I have anything to do with it, you aren't._

I finally went over to them, "Kotoko fell asleep? I think I'll take her home." Keita looked at me like I didn't have the right to bring my own wife home, as if he were disgusted with the idea of it.

I knelt beside Kotoko and tried to shake her awake, "Hey, Kotoko… wake up. Let's go home."

"You don't have to," Keita was beginning to test my patience, "I'll bring her home. Just go back and enjoy yourself with the girls."

I narrowed my eyes at him as another surge of anger passed through me.

"You don't care about this person anyway, right?"

"Shut your mouth." I snapped at him, "It's really none of your business either way."

"What did you say?" Keita glared at me and Kotoko stirred, now waking.

"Are you awake now?" I said to the sloppy mess rising from the table.

" _Ah_ , Irie- _kuuun_ ," She said with a huge smile.

"Let's go home."

"Mmmkay." She held out her arms for me to pick her up. I scooped her up, glancing back at Keita on the way out.

"Don't ever refer to her as " _this person_ " again." I said and was glad to make my exit.

On the walk back, I didn't think I'd been so peeved since last year when Kotoko was dating Takendo Nakagawa.

Kotoko climbed out of my arms and onto my back, swinging her feet at my sides and blissfully drunk.

" _Irie-kun,_ " She said sweetly.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Irie-kun," She repeated.

"Sleep talking, huh?" She giggled again.

"Chu!" She said as she kissed me on the cheek and snuggled into my shoulder. My worries melted away. This was Kotoko, who'd chased me around for years to get me to love her. She couldn't be interested in Keita. It just wasn't possible.

Or rather, I wouldn't let it be possible.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

With my classroom happening to be right across from one of Kotoko's, I had expected an occasional disruption. But so far this year, I hadn't had one. She'd been studying hard.

However, today, a disruption finally came through the classroom door.

"Make way!" I heard being shouted, along with the squeaking of shoes against the floor. I turned to see a group of my classmates fan out in the hall.

And then I saw Kamogari Keita running with Kotoko in his arms.

First, I wondered what had happened to her. And then my thoughts went straight to Keita. My teeth ground together, my head ready to pop off.

I indicated to my professor that I would be back as I headed out of the classroom and into the hall. A few watched me leave.

This was when I was approached by Marina.

"Kotoko fainted in class just now," she said, "She pricked her finger and the blood made her pass out."

 _Passes out at the sight of blood, but wants to be a nurse… that sure is like her._

"And Keita…?" I said, my eyes lingering down the hall.

"He was the only one of us strong enough to carry her." And I'd have bet he was all too willing. He was way too close to her for it to be appropriate and whether she knew it or not, Keita had more feelings for her than just friendship.

The qualities he possessed were ones I recognized in myself when I'd been falling for her. The wanting to touch her, protect her, and glare down any others who thought the same way. And he was stupid if he thought I couldn't tell where he was wanting to go with this.

My feet instinctively began heading for the nurse's office. I couldn't trust him to be alone with her, that maybe he might try something on her. I dared him to touch her.

I slowed down as I arrived, careful to make a sound. I had to see what he was up to when he thought he wasn't being watched.

Kotoko laid in one of the cots, tucked in and sleeping peacefully. Keita stood by and watched.

"I keep seeing this person's sleeping face." He said to himself.

He smiled, though just faintly. That was when he leaned down toward her.

Too close.

"What are you going to do from there?" I said. His nerve to try kissing her caused a newfound hatred to pick at every nerve in my body. This man must not have known her very well to think she would've been okay with this. Or maybe he simply didn't care.

Keita stopped in his tracks and spun around.

"I haven't done anything," He said, although that hadn't been what I'd asked, "Are you kidding? Why would I want to do anything with her?" He put his hands on his hips in a defensive stance.

"It didn't look that way to me," His eyes darted about the room, caught, "I heard you carried her here. Sorry for all the trouble "this person" has caused." I said, not breaking eye contact with him once, daring him to make a move or say anything else out of line.

I headed over to her bedside but he stayed where he was, now still as ever. His presence made my blood boil.

"I'm here now, so it's okay for you to get back to class." I said as I fought the urge to snap at him.

"I was going to anyway. You don't have to tell me." He strutted to the door, but I couldn't resist saying something about this incident.

"Kamogari," I began, "You know she's married to me, right? This interest you have in her needs to go away." He took a large pause, in which he stared out into the hallway.

"I care for Kotoko much more than you do," Oh, so now he knew her name? "And I could definitely treat her better than you."

"Is that so?" Who was he to know how much I cared for Kotoko? He certainly hadn't been around enough to know.

"Yes, it is. I think I'm better for her than you. You're so cold to her. And I'm not backing down whether you're married or not." The look he gave me was something fierce and serious at that. But the day I married Kotoko… no, the day I _confessed_ to her… was the day I decided I was never going to let anyone else have her. And I doubted she would disagree with that.

"Then you're dumber than I thought you were." I said.

Keita let out an exasperated half-laugh and left without saying anything else. Last year when I'd kissed her while she was asleep, it was something I knew she would've consented to, since she loved me too. But he had crossed a line in even just trying to. Kotoko didn't love him.

She loved me. Just me.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

At the end of a project and the end of a class, I found myself walking the campus with Funatsu and a few others. He had become surprisingly more civil, though still competing with me every chance he got.

"After our classes, everyone is going out to eat. You can come if you want." Funatsu said. This time I thought it may be a better idea to head home so Kotoko wouldn't want to follow me.

"I'm good."

"That's right!" Hitomo said, "Irie's got a wife waiting for him at home. How enviable. I prefer a home-cooked meal to dining out any day." I didn't quite have the heart to tell him that Kotoko didn't have that knack, "I wish I were married too."

The others went on ahead of me and Funatsu, "That's too bad. I really wanted to discuss molecular and cellular biology over drinks."

I stopped. The rest of what he was saying started to drown out by what I saw. Keita smiled, Kotoko bouncing along next to him as they headed somewhere together. She said something and he ruffled her hair.

My blood ran cold, ice shooting through my veins. Every muscle in my body froze, save for my eyes which followed them as they got farther away. I felt like I couldn't move and anger took me over. There was something about the way she smiled at him that set me off. And with how much time she spent with him, which was definitely more time than she spent with me, who was to say she hadn't developed feelings for him as well?

"Irie?" I stared through where they'd walked, them now having disappeared behind a building.

"You know," I said, "I think I want to come with after all." The last thing I wanted was to get home before Kotoko, who looked like she was going somewhere else with Keita, and stare at the door waiting for her.

"Really?" Funatsu nodded, "Great. Well, we're going to a sushi bar I think. Let's catch up."

…

Funatsu had been right, we'd gone to a sushi bar. While I'd thought that going out to eat with the others would get my mind off of Kotoko getting her hair ruffled by Keita, I'd been wrong. Matter of fact, after a few drinks, it only became worse. Funatsu went on about molecular biology as I tried to listen. But every thought became darker.

I thought about every little touch Keita had placed on Kotoko, how he'd been touching her more and more and how I'd been touching her less. Something about him was putting me to a standstill in paying attention to her. Maybe she sensed this and was turning to him.

Maybe she would change her mind about me, for being married to me wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

 _No._

I couldn't allow myself to think that. This was _Kotoko_. She'd counted the days until she was able to be with me. She'd made me charms and cakes and confessed her love for me on a daily basis even when she'd thought it would get nowhere.

Hadn't she turned down Kinnosuke when he'd proposed too?

Right. That was right. I needed to relax, convince myself somehow that Keita wasn't a threat. That even though he thought he could treat Kotoko better than me, it didn't matter. Because I was with her.

I finished off the last of my drink and our party started to thin out. A quarter to ten, Kotoko had to have been home by now.

"I'm gonna leave. It's getting late." I said to Funatsu through his latest spiel.

"I think everyone else should be coming along." He said.

Sure enough, a few minutes later Funatsu, a couple others, and I were on our way out. Down the road from the sushi bar, I began to hear voices I recognized and I felt the anger swell up in me like a balloon.

I took a peek in the general direction from which they were coming and saw Kotoko. Not only was she out later than usual, she had Keita's arm looped around her shoulders as if he were staking a claim to her. Her other two friends couldn't seem to have cared less.

"Hey, it's the nursing students." Hitomo said.

"Hi, Irie-san!" Marina and the other male nurse grinned from ear to ear.

"Irie-kun!" Kotoko shrugged Keita's arm off of her shoulder and skipped toward me, but my unease grew, "What are you doing here?" Her eyes sparkled as they always had, but I wondered if they'd been sparkling for Keita.

"I had dinner with my classmates. Now I'm going home." I found it hard to look at her.

"I see." She said.

Funatsu commenced with getting after Marina for a date, but I simply didn't have the willingness to listen to their conversation. My drive for the night was diminishing. Now all I wanted was to go home alone.

"I went bowling with the others earlier." Kotoko continued as she snagged my arm with a broad smile.

"Bowling?" I said, trying to be normal with her. I couldn't let Keita win but his words nagged at the back of my head. And I'd noticed how she seemed a little off, perhaps noticing my discontent.

"Yeah! I'm pretty good at it. It was my first time bowling, but I got so many strikes while thinking of you. I wish you could've seen it." She hugged onto me, beaming. But all I could feel was that rush of indignation that I'd been feeling a lot of lately.

I hated Keita. Not the way I'd hated Kinnosuke, but in a way that any time I saw him or heard his name come out of her mouth, I could've spat. I buzzed with contempt for him this very moment.

I tugged my arm out of Kotoko's hands, feeling I needed to get away from all this.

"Well, I'm going now then." I said. I'd gone a few meters when Keita shouted at me.

"Hey!" He said, "Why don't you spend more time with your _wife_ if you have time to party?" Was he trying to provoke me? Maybe make himself seem like her knight in shining armor, defending her against me? He had some nerve to try and make himself look like the good guy when he was the one going after a married woman, ruffling her hair, trying to kiss her, putting his arm over her.

The thought of it and his words made me clench my teeth.

"Keita, come on…" Kotoko went to his side rather than mine, adding insult to injury. Maybe she should be _his_ wife.

"You're trying so hard to get her attention. I'm sick of your meddling." I said dully, although a fire burned within.

"That's mean, Irie-kun." Kotoko said. She frowned at me. I shouldn't have looked at her, as she looked like she wanted to cry. I had to look away from the tears that dampened her eyelashes. I'd caused that.

"Keita said that for my sake," there was his name again, "He knew I was feeling down…"

"Then you should just go home with him, since he's so very worried about you." I snapped, immediately regretting it.

"That's so mean!" Kotoko's lip quivered, "Why are you saying this to me? You idiot!" She ran away, I assumed to cry.

"Kotoko!" Marina called after her.

"Aren't you going to go after her?" Keita said, but he didn't need to pretend he wanted us to make up.

"If you're not going, I will!" Keita took off, his friends following him and telling him to slow down.

I stared at the ground, thinking about what I'd just said to her, about how I'd just hurt her. She'd never called me an idiot or stupid before, only ever how intelligent or talented I was, or how much she loved me.

I couldn't believe I could still be so cruel to her. I was really screwing up. How could I fix this? She must've thought I hated her. But I just couldn't look her in the face right now. Not only had I hurt her, but it hurt me as well to think she might start loving me less.

I couldn't bear that thought. There had to be a way I could fix this.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

I hadn't much spoken to Kotoko since the night of our fight. I could tell she was in pain by the way that she'd hardly been speaking at the dinner table and how she'd been sleeping farther away from me, making sure to keep her back turned to me the entire night. I wasn't sure what I could do or say to make this better.

But whenever I thought about how she defended him and how much closer she'd been with him than me, I only became angry. Rather than lashing out at her again, I'd decided to stay quiet and hope things settle on their own. And I hoped my anger subsided somehow.

Tonight as dinner was laid out on the table, Kotoko sat in silence, staring at her empty plate.

"Sorry to make you wait!" My mother said with enthusiasm, proudly presenting her dish. My father's eyes lit up at the sight of it.

"I wanted to show off my cooking skills, so I made Chirashi-zushi." She said.

"My favorite." Yuuki said as he reached to put some on his plate.

"It looks great, mama."

"This is a restaurant quality dish." Kotoko's father said.

"Oh no, it's embarrassing to offer my dish to a professional like you." My mother said without a single boast.

Yuuki passed around this dish. Amidst everyone chattering about how delicious the food looked, I took notice in Kotoko's solemn silence. As the talking died down, I realized how quiet everything was without her exclaiming about how good the food was or whining at Yuuki for picking on her. The dinner table was somehow sad without it.

By that point, I'd lost my appetite and stood from my place, "Thanks for the meal."

"Onii-chan, are you done already?" My mother seemed worried.

"I'm taking a bath and going to bed." I said. Kotoko didn't look up from her plate once. The less acknowledgment I got, the less I knew how to fix it.

I took a hot bath, which did nothing to soothe my frayed nerves. After that, I figured to squeeze in some studying for tomorrow's exams.

I dimmed the lights in the room and switched on a small lamp. But rather than being able to read, my mind drifted. I was so distracted by the thought of Kotoko that the book was barely in focus. Many times I'd wondered what happened after he went running after her and I'd let him go. Maybe she'd hugged him. Maybe they'd kissed. I regretted not even moving my feet an inch to run after her. Whatever had happened was my fault.

I closed the book, feeling defeated at my distractedness, and switched off the lights to go to bed. That night, I struggled to find a solid minute of sleep.

…

The rustling of papers and the scratching of pencils was numbing to me. I stared down at the desk in front of me, at the exam paper, and mindlessly scribbled down answers. My mind wavered in and out of focus from a lack of sleep and concentration. I had no one to blame but myself either.

I felt myself drifting away into thoughts of my rocky marriage as I pulled more answers out of the back of my head. Wherever Kotoko was right now, she was probably with Keita. Talking with him, getting advice, laughing, getting closer to him.

Who was I to her anymore?

When the time was almost up, I filled in the rest of the answers with what was my best shot. I couldn't believe I'd let myself become this way… so distracted by another man making himself available to Kotoko. Distracted by the thought of losing her. What could I do to save my relationship with her?

My classmates handed in their exams, but I went up last to run my eyes over everything I'd just filled out. I could already spot mistakes. I tore myself away from it and went to sit back down. Everyone filed out of the classroom but I stayed later, so as to avoid running into Kotoko walking with Keita.

Instead, they found me where I sat.

"Irie-kun!" Kotoko and a few of her friends ran to my desk. I didn't have it in me to look up and confirm that Keita was with them.

"How was the exam?" Kotoko asked.

I hesitated as I thought of how I should phrase it, "Bad." I said.

"What? There's no way Irie-san wouldn't be alright." Marina said in disbelief. Kotoko stayed quit, "Stop joking."

"Nope, it's the worst I've ever done on a test."

"Yes!" Funatsu threw his arms up in celebration, "I'm number one! Now Marina will have to go out with me!" Kotoko's friends gathered around him rather than me and she took a step closer.

"Is that really true, Irie-kun?" She said, taking me in.

"Yeah." I left my seat.

"Are you sick?"

 _Sick is one way you could put it._

"Do you have a fever?" She put her hand to my forehead, feeling for a temperature that wasn't there. This was when I caught a glimpse of Keita, sitting on a desktop, baring down on me at me as though he'd already won. I went frigid.

"It's okay. Don't worry about it." I said as I pulled away from her touch, "See you."

I went for the cafeteria, although knowing it was nearly closed for lunch. For some reason, though, I just felt like hearing Kinnosuke yammer about. Maybe it would make things feel more normal somehow.

As I arrived, I saw the girl he'd been dating, Christine, and him cleaning up.

"Are you closing already?" I asked.

"Oh, Naoki Irie!" Chris said with a bounce to her step. Something about her reminded me of Kotoko, "What do you want to eat? Just say it, anything." She leaned over the top of the counter, resting on her elbows.

"Look, I'm the one that makes it." Kinnosuke jabbed her.

"A chicken set meal, maybe?" I said.

"Something so troublesome…" he grumbled.

"Kin-chan." Chris hit him in the arm and he went back to start cooking, "Please wait for a bit, it'll be right out." She said with a bubbly smile.

I found a seat in the now-empty cafeteria and my food was brought to me when it was done. Rather than heading back to the kitchen, Kinnosuke and Chris stayed and found a seat of their own right across from me.

"Kinnosuke's cooking is delicious, isn't it?" Chris said. And I couldn't say she was wrong. He certainly did have a talent for it.

"Well, isn't it obvious?" He said. I tried the chicken.

"Yeah, it's good."

"I know, right?" She seemed proud of herself, "Whenever I'm here with him, he gets all revved up and makes the best food."

"What are you saying?" Kinnosuke said with a shy smile. It was nice to see that he was moving on.

"Seems like you two are getting along great." I said, if only to watch him squirm.

"What?! No way would I get along with her. Who would?" He pouted.

"Oh, we're getting along _very_ well." Chris said, "How about you and Kotoko?"

My stomach dropped at the mention of her name, reminding me of how badly I was screwing up, "I don't know. Not right now."

"Why? What do you mean? Did you make her cry?" Kinnosuke asked, seeming actually concerned.

"Well, I haven't been in a good way." I said.

"What, you're sick and you're gonna be a doctor? That's so pitiable." Kinnosuke said.

"It's not really that I'm sick, but I can't really sleep at night."

"Then what's the problem?" He pried, confused as ever, or so his expression betrayed.

"I don't even know why I'm treating Kotoko the way I have been. Ever since that Kamogari guy started coming onto her, I just get annoyed when I see her."

At first, Kinnosuke's mouth hung open. He ran his eyes over me in bewilderment for a few seconds, and then he began to laugh.

I searched him for answers.

"Do you really not know?" He said through his hysteria.

"Not know what?"

"Are you an idiot? Don't talk nonsense." He stood.

 _You're the last person who should be calling someone an idiot._

"Why? Do you get something I don't?" I stopped eating and waited for an answer.

He put his hands on his hips, "You're jealous." He said with a smirk, "That's just jealousy!"

I took that in for a second. I knew the word, but I hadn't felt it before. Or so I'd thought.

"Jealous? Me? That's impossible, I'm not you." I said.

"You're such an idiot! Yes, it is! Listen, thanks to you I've been jealous for years on end. I'm a veteran. And because of this, I know there's no mistaking it. Seeing that guy with Kotoko… you're so jealous!" He looked so happy with what he'd said, as though his years of suffering had finally paid off in seeing me experience what he had been.

This was his moment of victory.

"It's a pain even for a genius isn't it?" He said and then his demeanor turned, "Wait, did you say there's a weird guy around Kotoko? I'll knock him out in one hit."

" _Awww_ , Kinnosuke, you can get jealous over me too!" Chris pulled him into an unreciprocated hug.

As they went about it, I got lost in thought. It was true. I could think of times from before now when I'd had this gut feeling. Each time from another guy interested in Kotoko. I could think of times I'd seen Kotoko with Kinnosuke and became angry, specifically the time I thought she'd kissed him. Seeing her with Takendo Nakagawa and getting hurt playing tennis simply because he was there.

It all rushed in. Suddenly, I knew what was wrong with me and why many times before we'd dated I'd been callous toward her.

I knew what I had to fix. Just not how. But I would find a way to make this right.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

The next week as I received the results of my exams and they had turned out to be the top scoring, I still couldn't be happy about them. No matter how hard I'd been trying, I couldn't seem to get over this terrible jealousy. I would've loved to think that it was unjustified…. But the more I thought about it, the more I could see the justification.

But it was my fault for silently letting it bother me. Kotoko didn't know any of this. This had been going on for so long that I didn't know how I could start a conversation with her about this. I'd never been the best at explaining my feelings to her to begin with.

So I continued normally. I ignored her for most of the day as I sorted out what I should or shouldn't say.

As I arrived home, Kotoko greeted me.

"Irie-kun?" She said.

I undid my shoes and looked past her. I felt her gaze shift, hurt. There was nothing I could say to her right now without messing things up even more.

After dinner, she stayed behind to help my mother tidy up and I went to our bedroom to study. I barely skimmed over words I'd read before, knowing that I already knew them but wanting to make sure since my last exam mishap.

Since I already knew the words on the pages, my mind wandered to the words I should say to Kotoko. Perhaps it would be best to just apologize and ignore the fact that Keita exists. I wondered if it was within my capabilities to do such. I knew Kotoko would forgive me… but I didn't know if I could ignore Keita. He was too much of a threat to me. I couldn't help but think of the thousand things he'd already said to her.

I massaged the bridge of my nose as a headache formed, feeling the muscles tighten in my back. No matter what I did, he would try. He would talk to her, get close to her. There was nothing I could do about him.

I peered around me at the books scattered on the desk and the half-written essay on the computer screen, but none of it seemed to matter as much as it once had.

 _What am I doing?_

I heard a tap on the door and the knob turned. Kotoko faced me with a smile.

"Irie-kun, can I have a minute?" She said. Perhaps I wouldn't be the one starting the conversation.

"Yeah?" She entered and pushed the door closed.

"I have really great news," She started with a grin, "Satomi and Ryu-kun are getting married! And on top of that, she's having a baby." I could see a certain falseness in Kotoko's happiness.

"That's great." I said after a prolonged pause.

She went on, "They're going to have the wedding when she's a little farther along. Satomi said I should attend it with you."

"Yeah."

Her face dropped for a moment before resuming a smile, "I wonder what her wedding will be like, I'm really looking forward to it! I wore a wedding dress, but I think Satomi would look good in a white kimono." Kotoko stopped and glanced at me. I couldn't tell if she was waiting for a response.

"Weddings are so nice no matter how many times they happen, aren't they? I wish I could have one again too." Once again, she stopped.

"Is that all you wanted to say?" I said. Her mouth fell into a frown. I could almost feel her heart breaking. She nodded once, looking away from me.

"Sorry for disturbing your studies." She said quietly. The guilt of dismissing her gave me a sock to the stomach. But I didn't know what I could do to stop this.

One hand on the doorknob, Kotoko froze. With her staring at the door as if in a trance, I became worried about what she could possibly be thinking.

"Kotoko?"

She spun around, ripping pillows from the bed and whipping them at me in a blaze. She screamed.

"What are you doing?" I ducked, but got caught hard. She threw anything within her reach, "Hey, Kotoko!"

Kotoko flung the coat rack to the floor in front of me, "Kotoko, stop!" I rushed to my feet to grab her by the arms, only to be pushed away.

"No, this is wrong!" She screamed, tears running down her face, "This is wrong, okay?!" As she yelled at me, I could hear the buildup of pain in her voice, "I can't stand it anymore! You're not even concerned about me and I can't take it!"

I couldn't utter a word. Hearing that I didn't care about her was a knife ran through me, and so I just watched her break down.

"You don't even care what happens to me, right? What I'm doing, how I'm doing…" She took a deep, shaky breath.

"Keita told me he loves me!" All of my muscles locked in place, "He said I should break up with you, since you're so cold to me."

I couldn't even feel my own heart beating. I hated how broken she was, and I hated the things she was saying to me. I hated how they were true. Never once in our relationship had I deserved Kotoko.

"Irie-kun… you stopped loving me, didn't you?" With her eyes, she pleaded with me to say something, anything. But I was shattered. I couldn't move my lips to speak.

"No. You _never_ loved me." Kotoko said as she wiped her eyes.

 _Please don't say that._

"Calm down!" I went to grab her arms again but she shook free of me in a fury.

"No!" She bared down on me, "Why? Why did you marry me?" Her lip quivered and her eyes narrowed at me through her tears, "It's only me who is in love. I can't do it anymore!"

She swung the door open and ran out, slamming it behind her.

"Kotoko!" I called after her, but my feet wouldn't move. I heard my mother yell after Kotoko and the front door shut. When I found my legs again, I moved for the door, but my hand got stuck to the handle. I couldn't turn it, or go after her. Maybe she was going after Keita to tell him it was over. As far as I was concerned, it might be.

I peered around me at the destruction she'd left behind in the wake of her meltdown, and slid down to the floor to bury my face in my hands. I could never do anything right. For the first time since I was a child, I felt a tear fall. I'd probably just ended my marriage with the only girl I'd ever wanted to be with. It was over.

When I got to my feet, I went to call Kotoko's father. He picked up after a few rings.

"Hello? Naoki?" He said.

"Hi. Kotoko's run away from home and we don't know where she went, so if she shows up, can you please call me?" I said.

"Why? What happened?" Her father asked. I wasn't sure I wanted to spill the details just yet, but he would find out from her eventually.

"We had a fight." I said, a total understatement for what had actually gone down tonight.

"Oh, well things will get better. I had my fair share of arguments with my wife but we always worked it out." His positivity was something I wished I had right at this moment.

"I hope."

"Feel better, Naoki. I'll let you know if she comes by."

Sure enough, after thirty minutes I got the call. Seemed she would be staying at Chris' place tonight. And I prayed she hadn't just left me for good.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

The next day, I felt worse. It seemed that the more time I let pass, the less I thought things could be fixed. I would have to talk to her today. I would talk to her somehow, even if I tripped over my words, even if I couldn't properly express the way I felt about her.

On the way to lunch after class, I hadn't heard anything from Kotoko. I hadn't even seen her. More than once I thought I should just call her. But I pondered if she would even pick up the phone for me. Last night was the most upset I'd ever seen her. I wouldn't have blamed her if she left me after that.

On the way to the cafeteria, all I could see around me was couples. They walked, held hands, laughed. My heart fell.

Walking past the cafeteria windows, I stopped and searched for Kotoko among the tables. I breathed a sigh of relief knowing that she'd arrived to class untouched. But I noticed how she was slouched over in her seat, not touching her food.

 _I should go in there…_

Alas, with her friends surrounding her at every angle, I couldn't muster the courage. I left, figuring to catch her alone later. That was if I could manage to find her anyway.

I picked a bench to read on until the cafeteria was less crowded and set my bag by my feet. I rolled my tense shoulders and at least thanked God Kotoko wasn't with Keita. If she had been, I might've gone in there anyway. He would pounce at this opportunity.

For a moment, I stopped reading and wondered what I was doing. I could've gone in and pulled her away from her friends for a moment, and yet again I'd chosen incorrectly. But maybe my marriage was over anyway.

"Irie!" I jumped at the sound of Kinnosuke's voice as he ran toward me.

"What is it?" I closed my book.

His eyes frantic and possibly angry, he said, "You better get in there right now! Are you just gonna let that guy take her away from you?"

"Kamogari's in there?" I shot straight up. I didn't know how I hadn't seen him walk past.

"He's telling her to move in with him, you idiot! I didn't have her stolen away from me just so she could get stolen away from you too!" He scoffed and shook his head.

But he was right.

I started out walking and then I began to run as I felt sicker to my stomach. I would _not_ let him get away with this even if I had to mend my marriage right in front of the whole campus. We were _not_ over if I had anything to say about it, and I doubted Kotoko wanted to leave me either. I took a few breaths just outside the door before pushing them open.

 _Here goes nothing._

"It's not a marriage if one person doesn't need the other." Keita said in confidence, "You need me."

He took her hand then and I clenched a fist. Laying a finger on her was the last thing he needed to be doing.

"You're wrong." I said, "You're dead wrong." Kotoko caught sight of me and it looked like she wanted to cry all over again.

"Irie-kun…" She said, her voice wavering.

"Look who's talking. You've made her suffer for long enough." Keita took a defensive step toward me, "You can't make her happy, and you didn't deserve to marry her."

I tore my focus from him and landed on Kotoko, my puffy-eyed wife who looked to not have slept well because of me… and I knew how true it was.

"Yeah. That may be true…"

"It's not "may be". It _is_ true!" He cut in.

I took a moment to gather my thoughts, thinking of how to explain myself. I came up with the simplest of answers.

"I was jealous." I said. Kotoko gaped at me and Keita seemed almost disgusted.

"Huh?"

"I was jealous of you, Kamogari. Up until now, things like jealousy or envy were emotions I hadn't experienced. But Kotoko has changed me."

Kotoko eyed me as if wondering if that were true, "They burdened me out of nowhere and I didn't know what to do with them, so I got lost and annoyed."

"What are you trying to say?' Keita said, still defensive as ever.

"Kamogari… you have a lot of those despicable feelings, don't you?" His mouth formed a tight line.

"Are you trying to pick a fight with me?"

"No," I said, now knowing exactly what I needed to say, "But you're not the one who needs her. I am."

Keita narrowed his eyes and looked away, peeved.

"Really, Irie-kun? Is that true?" Kotoko took a step toward me and gave me an expression that said her hope had been restored.

"Yes, it is."

"I…" she took a deep breath, as though she was about to cry, "I can really be with you?" She took her eyes off the floor and I could see the tears building up. I hoped they wouldn't spill.

I found a smile after all the pain we'd just been through, "Didn't I just say so?"

She wrapped her arms around me tight and I embraced her. I couldn't say I ever wanted to let go.

"I'll never leave you until I die." She giggled.

"I'm prepared for that." And actually, I was more than prepared. I was content with it.

As she pulled away, I traced my fingers along her cheek. I leaned toward her, but she flinched away.

" _We're in the cafeteria!_ " I laughed as her face reddened.

"I almost forgot too." I felt the weight lift off my shoulders. She hugged me again.

"You guys are too cute." Marina said as she and the others watched us, though Keita had already left us.

I had a hard time pulling away from her.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

In the weeks following, everything was finally the way it should've been. I also noticed how Keita was spending less time with Kotoko, and that meant he was a problem solved.

At the end of class and heading for lunch, Funatsu followed along, telling me a story that I'd long zoned out of.

I glanced around the cafeteria in search of Kotoko.

"Irie-san, are you listening?" Funatsu said. I found her with her friends as they ate, "Irie?"

"Funatsu, your story is too long."

"Irie-kun!" Kotoko spotted me and waved me over with the brightness I hadn't seen from her in the last month.

Funatsu went silent and shuffled away after saying, "I feel sick." He rushed away from what I could have only assumed to be Marina.

Kotoko pulled up a chair for me, "What happened to Funatsu?" She asked.

"He said he doesn't feel well." Marina rolled her eyes.

"It's a lie." She said.

"What happened?" Kotoko said. I took the seat she'd pulled up.

"Irie-san, you were in first place for the exams, weren't you?" She went on, leaning in close to the others to spill gossip.

"Yeah."

"Even though you said that was the worst test score you'd ever received…" Motoki said as he reached across the table. Kotoko batted his hand away from me.

"As expected of my husband." Kotoko snuggled onto my shoulder and I crossed my arms.

"As expected…" Marina said, "He made such a huge deal with me about it only to lose. He can't even face me because of it. Such a coward." She looked disgusted.

"Oh, yeah… Irie-kun," Kotoko said with a sweet ring to her voice, "I have a favor to ask. There's going to be a capping ceremony. You know about it, right?" She went from one ear to the other as she continued, "A guy from the medical department is supposed to give a flower to a girl from the nursing department. I'm really excited about it! I love roses, but you could bring any-"

"I can't," I said, knowing I should've told her sooner, "I'm going to a medical conference in Nagoya with one of my professors so it's not possible."

Kotoko's face fell, "But, Irie-kun!" She whined.

"It'll be until late so I'll probably stay in Nagoya overnight. That and I'd rather not be involved in something so old-fashioned."

I thought about how embarrassing such a matter would be and how much I hated to be embarrassed, but still I felt bad that I couldn't be there for something Kotoko was looking so forward to.

I started to get up, "I'll talk to you later."

I grabbed food from a vending machine on the way to my next class. I shoved embarrassment to the very back of my mind and started wondering if I could possibly make it to the capping ceremony, if only for her. Only the weekend would tell.

…

The conference lasted five excruciating hours. All I wanted to do was head to a hotel and go to bed for the night, but I knew it wouldn't be right. After getting through our rough patch, I wanted to do everything I could for Kotoko, even if that included attending a nurse capping ceremony when I barely had the energy to swing my bag over my shoulder as I made my way out of the conference hall.

Seeing as how it was eight o'clock, I would have to wait twenty minutes for a train back to Tokyo. By the time I got back, I wondered if any flower shops would even be open. In any case, I had to hurry.

At the train station, I leaned against a wall and rested my eyes. I hoped I would make it in time. Once the train arrived and I boarded, it took all my strength to keep myself standing upright. The hum of the train nearly put me to sleep a couple of times and I refused to take a seat for the sake of not missing my stop.

It took two hours to get home to Tokyo. By that time, my feet ached from standing so long and I had to force my eyes open to stay awake.

I ran by the first flower shop I could think of, and of course it was closed. So I wouldn't have any flowers, but I hoped me just arriving there would be enough.

The ceremony was supposed to have started at nine thirty, however, so it may have ended by now. I forced myself onward, toward Tonan University. Even if it was in vain, at least I could say I tried.

Approaching Tonan, I was sore. I took a breather at the gate. If no one was there now, it would still be the same a minute from now.

Once I had caught my breath, I slowed my pace to make for the assembly hall where the ceremony had been held. Most of the lights in the university had been turned off. The place felt like a ghost town, bare of the many students that walked these halls during the day.

The first thing I saw when I came to the assembly hall were the many lit candles up in the front of the room. Past the doors, I searched for Kotoko or any forms of life.

I found her in the very front row and I started down the aisle toward her. She threw herself out of her seat.

"W-who's there?" She said, hiding behind her seat, "Don't tell me it's a ghost."

I snickered, "Idiot."

She stood slowly, "Irie-kun?"

"Seriously, how long were you planning on staying here?" I asked, as it looked like the place had been abandoned by everyone but her, and for a while.

"What happened? I thought you were staying overnight in Nagoya." Kotoko said, wringing her hands together in front of her.

"I hurried back."

"For me?"

 _No, for some exercise._

"But I didn't make it in time. The conference lasted too long so the florists were closed." I picked her nurse cap up off the bench and brushed it off.

"It's fine," Kotoko took a step toward me, "I don't need it. Just you coming here…" I placed the cap back on her head, "... is enough." She said, quiet as a mouse.

"Say it again. The part you recited." I knew this had been a big deal for her, something she'd worked hard to remember. And I wanted to make sure I heard it.

She nodded, "With loyalty, I will aid the physician in his work," she began and I brushed her hair out of her face, watching her, "I will dedicate myself to devoted service…" her eyes started to water up and I felt guilty I hadn't made it in time, "for human welfare."

I pulled her close, "One more time."

"With loyalty, I will aid the physician in his work. I will dedicate myself to devoted service for human welfare." She choked on her words through crying, but once more quoted it perfectly. She'd done a good job today.

I pulled her off my shoulder and gazed at her. She was still the simple girl I'd met, to cry because I'd come back for her, not even baring flowers.

I kissed her, feeling like I could never have made a better choice.

 **A/N: Hey guys! I've started a blog on writing tips, so if you care to join me, it's at**

 **Happy reading! :D**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:** Merry Christmas!

 **Chapter Fifteen**

After passing the last exams, I was qualified to start interning in the Tonan University Hospital, as was Kotoko. And that had started earlier this morning.

My work thus far had been a breeze and I was on my way to lunch with the other interns. I searched for Kotoko, finding her sitting with Keita, Motoki, Marina, and Tomoko.

"Hey," I said as I caught up with her, "How did the training go?"

Rather than spinning around in her seat and giving me a grin like she normally did, she was stiff as a board, seeming terrified somehow.

"Have you been taking good care of Yoshida-san?" I asked. Kotoko had been particularly concerned about the elderly woman who had been bedridden at the hospital for a while, but I'd heard Yoshida had been giving her trouble.

She just stared at me, "I think you two will make a good combination," the thought of those two harassing each other cracked me up.

"That…"

"Well, good luck." I nudged her in the shoulder and went to get food.

I didn't see her much for the rest of the day, though I did hear her in passing. At the end of my shift as night began to roll in, I was approached by my supervisor.

"Naoki, come here for a moment," He called me out into the hallway, "I have an opportunity I'd like you to think about. There's an interning spot open in Kobe. I've recommended you to them."

I was stalled for a moment, "Thank you for the recommendation."

"I really want you to think about this. It's a year in Kobe to train. With a head like the one you have on your shoulders, you could do something really great with it." He said. And I would think about it, but what about Kotoko? She would never agree.

"I will. Thanks." I said.

"Have a nice night." He smiled, as though he expected me to say yes to this, but who knew? I didn't want to start making Kotoko unhappy again.

And then I began to think of the opportunities. There were so many special programs in Kobe for selected majors in the medical field. Maybe I would want to specialize in one of them.

As I began the walk home, I wondered if I could allow myself to say no to this. I ran over my options once, and twice more. Perhaps I was overthinking and Kotoko would be alright with the idea. She _had_ always wanted the best for me and rooted me on no matter what I chose to do. It might be okay.

I scoffed at myself for even thinking Kotoko would be alright with being away from me for a year. The street lights switched on as I made my way down the sidewalk. A large part of me knew it would be a mistake to waste such an opportunity.

I couldn't say no to it just yet.

At the house, I smelled food. My mother and Kotoko chatted in the kitchen. I took off my shoes and headed for the living room.

My mother popped her head around the corner, "Ah, good thing you're home, Onii-chan! We were just talking about your graduation," She then turned her gaze to Yuuki, "You should invite Konomi-chan."

"Why should I?" Yuuki rolled his eyes, but I'd heard all about Konomi. Class F. Confessed to Yuuki. Got him to tutor her to get onto the top 100 list. Sounded a whole lot like my own situation. I saw right through him.

"Because she's your friend." My mother said.

"She's not my friend." Yuuki refused to look up from his book.

"What do you mean? She made the top 100 in the final exams." Kotoko said.

" _97._ " Yuuki muttered, as though loathing the very occurrence of her high score.

"That's good! It's decided then." My mother said.

"It's only because I was a good tutor."  
"I felt the same way with Kotoko. It's a big deal for a Class F to make it onto that list. The power of love is amazing." My mother's face stretched into a smile as she gazed off into the distance.

" _Or my tutoring is._ " Yuuki said.

"When is Naoki's graduation?" Kotoko's father asked.

"March twentieth."

"And he's going to speak on behalf of the graduates. Right, Irie-kun?" Kotoko said, tilting her head in excitement.

I tried to speak but I couldn't. I was still thinking too hard about the internship in Kobe. When would be the right time to bring it up?

"What's wrong?" Kotoko asked, losing the smile.

"Huh?"

"You're speaking at the graduation, right?" She said once more.

"Yeah, I am." I nodded.

"I'll bring my video camera!" My mother said, "Or maybe I should get a new one."

She and Kotoko chatted a bit more and I found my voice. Better to bring this up sooner than later.

"Kotoko," I said, "I have something to tell everyone."

"What is it? You sound so serious." My mother studied me.

"I met with my supervisor today. He tells me there's an internship open in a hospital in Kobe, and I'm thinking of going."

All fell mute. My parents stared at me and Kotoko's face fell through the floor.

"K-Kobe? But you said you were going to work at Tonan Hospital." She said, eyeing me as though I'd just broken her heart.

"That's what I wanted to do at first, but I want to explore some specialized fields and this is the only way to do that."

"But… but Kobe is so far! It's six hours there and back. How would you…"

"Commuting is unreasonable. I'd have to live there." I said without the heart to take a glance at Kotoko.

"Onii-chan, are you serious?" My mother said.

"Yes. I'd study there for a few years and then return."

"Then I'll have to find a school in Kobe!" Kotoko began, sounding like she was on the verge of tears, "I hope I have time…"

"You should stay. I'll go on my own."

Kotoko snapped.

"I don't want to be apart, and especially not for that long!" She said, her voice full of pain and anger.

"Stay here for a year and come after you graduate." I said. At this point in the game, there would be no time to find a school and enroll. On top of that, she wouldn't know a single person and I couldn't imagine she would even see me much.

"That doesn't make it sound any better! I'm not even that smart! What if I don't graduate next year, and then it would be longer?" Kotoko let the words tumble out of her mouth in a mess. She was about to cry. I was screwing up again, "That's too long! I can't do it!"

"Do you expect me to wait for you to become a nurse and then go to Kobe?" I said.

"How could you say that?" My mother started on me, "Think about how she feels. You're husband and wife, and you shouldn't be apart! Don't just think about yourself…"

"I know."

"You don't know." Kotoko said, her voice a mere squeak, "You couldn't understand. Because I love you way more than you love me," She sucked in a breath, tears rolling down her face and hitting her shirt, "You wouldn't know how I feel, or how hard it is for me to be apart from you. Because… you would be totally fine without me."

Kotoko wiped her eyes and choked on her tears, "When you made your decision, you didn't even think about me once, did you? Because I'm the only one that would miss you!"

She turned on her heel and ran from the room.

And there I went, hurting her again. I wondered if there was ever a moment that I didn't hurt her. All this time and I still didn't deserve her.

…

I stayed in the living room even as everyone else began to clear out. Later that night, on the way back to our room, I didn't have the guts to enter. In passing, I found Kotoko's father.

"You're still up, Naoki?" He said. I nodded, "How's Kotoko? Is she still upset?"

"Yes. I was prepared for a bad reaction, but when I actually see her like this…"

 _It breaks my heart._

"It's because she's so crazy about you." He said.

"I'm thinking about taking her to Kobe with me after all. If we found a nursing program now, she might be able to transfer. But everything would be so new, would she be able to settle down enough to study? I myself will probably be so busy that I won't have much time for her…" I poured my soul out, "I _was_ thinking about her. I do want her to become a nurse, so I thought it might be better if we spend a year apart."

"Naoki…" Her father said. My eyes laid flat on the coffee table, thinking hard.

"She doesn't seem to realize that I love her." I said.

And maybe that was my fault.

Who was I kidding?

It _was_ my fault.

…


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

I took a deep breath before heading onstage. Seeing her watch me with that sadness she'd been holding onto for the last two weeks made me hate to have to do this. I'm sure most of her began to understand my reasoning as I talked to her through our door or with her back turned to me, but it didn't make her any happier either.

So I sent up there as her defeated eyes followed me and my mother's camera clicked. I took my bow and began my speech for graduation… the end of my time at Tonan.

"When I look back on my life at Tonan University, many unforgettable memories come to mind." I said. This was where my life began, not that the audience needed to know that. My career, my marriage, my truth. It all became something worthwhile as I was here.

I watched Kotoko from afar, and I was sure I noticed a tear streak down her cheek.

"I've met many new people here, learned from great professors, and I found what I was put here on Earth to do. Medicine is my journey, as is for all of my fellow classmates. Your journeys may differ from mine, but you should consider yourself lucky to have found your path. Never let that go. Chase what you love." I took pause as Kotoko wiped under her eyes. I had to look away.

"Thank you for the wonderful time here I'll never forget. Representing Tonan Medical School, Naoki Irie."

I bowed out and went back to my seat for the rest of the ceremony. After that, I met back up with my parents and Kotoko.

"That was great, Naoki. So heartfelt." My mother said through a sob, as though she were losing a child. My father patted me on my shoulder.

"I'm so proud of you. We all are." He said.

"Thanks." I said and I waited for Kotoko to say something as she looked past me.

"Yeah, it was great. A great speech." Kotoko said, her face just a little splotchy and still staring off into the distance rather than at me, "I'm going to take a few minutes and take a walk. I'll meet you guys back home."

"Okay, Kotoko-chan. However much time you need." My mother gave her a sympathetic look and she and my father went for the doors. Kotoko took a left down the corridor.

"Are you coming with, Naoki?" My father asked, but I shook my head.

"No, I'll be back home later." I watched her travel farther away.

"Good idea. Patch things up with her before you leave tomorrow." He said as though reading my mind. I half smiled but went to follow Kotoko.

As I followed, I lost her for a moment. When I did find her, I found her in her classroom, clinging to the back of a chair, looking at the floor and mumbling.

"Naoki!" She called out, maybe venting, with a burst. Good to know she was still her old, loud self.

"What?"

She turned to me startled as I entered the classroom.

"You're so loud."

"W… what? How did you… find me?" She said with a sniff as I noticed fresh tears in the corners of her eyes.

"How could I not with that voice?" She looked down again, "I need to talk to you about something. I thought it might be better to talk to you now. About Kobe." She stopped me.

"I'll become a nurse in one year. And I'll meet you there." A sad, determined smile spread across her face. But it was a smile nonetheless and I was happy to see one before I left, "I promise, so… wait for me." She bit her lip and looked at her shoes as her eyes filled again.

"Don't cheat on me. Don't get mad when I call you everyday. And…" She wrung her hands together, but I was so happy she could accept this and be herself again.

"And what, Kotoko?" I leaned in close. So close I could hear her breath hitch in her throat.

"On my breaks, I'll come-" I kissed her. All I'd needed was for her to be strong, and here she was, being strong for me.

I pulled her into my arms and stood there for a moment as Kotoko spoke into my shoulder.

"Someone might come and try to steal you from me." I shook my head.

"I don't care."

I kissed her once more. I'd gone two weeks without her warmth and I wasn't going to go another second without it before departing tomorrow.

The walk to the train station was silent for the most part. I'd said goodbye to everyone else at the house, but Kotoko insisted on walking me there. To get in every second she could, I guess.

At the stop across the street from the station, I stopped with the traffic lights.

"This is good." I told her.

"But I want to see you all the way to the station." She protested.

"That's okay. You might stop the bullet train if you come to see me off. Plus we're right across the street anyway." I said.

"No I _wouldn't_." Kotoko giggled though, which told me she might've thought about it, "Maybe it would be easier to say goodbye here, though."

The light turned for me to walk.

"See you, Kotoko." I went to walk but her hands pried me back.

"Wait, wait!" She said, not wanting to say goodbye, "Call me when you get there."

"I will." I was stopped from leaving again.

"Did you eat lunch?"

"I'll eat on the train."

I could see her grasping at straws, just to see me a little longer. It wasn't like it was easy for me either. But I had to go.

"Shin-Kobe is one station after Okayama. Don't miss it!" The light turned red again.

"You mean Shin-Osaka."

"Oh…" Kotoko said, but she tugged on my sleeve, eyes on the pavement, silent, as though trying to figure out what more to say.

"Can I go now?" I said.

"Sure." She faked a smile and pulled away from my sleeve slowly, "Study hard, okay?"

"Yeah. You too." With the walk light green again, I continued out onto the street.

Once I was across, I looked back to find Kotoko in full tears. I sighed.

 _Don't do that._ I thought, nearly wanting to go back but stuck in place. The moment she saw me, she wiped away any remnant of sadness and shouted, "You can do it, Naoki!"

And to that I smiled a little, but I was also sad. She could do it too, I hoped. And I hoped she knew I wasn't leaving her forever, because she was always with me even when she wasn't.

 **A/N:** *walks in slowly and awkwardly* So... I've been gone for about a year... yeah. -.- Ya girl went through some damaging stuff, chopped her hair off, and barely wrote for a while. I'm so so sorry. I love you guys and this fic and never planned to abandon it. So here we are, back at it again. For the rest of 2018, I'm gonna hype you guys up with the last 10 chapters or so of this fic. And for those of you who have Webtoon, I also started a comic titled Tearwood that has one chapter up and the second on the way. Check it out if you have the time. :)


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen**

My medical break had taken off without a hitch. Within a mere few months, I had become the most sought after intern in Kobe Hospital. It still only being an internship, however, I was often busy and found myself without much free time. Another reason I'd preferred Kotoko not to come with, as she'd have felt neglected.

Just as I was wondering when she might pop in for a visit next, Nami, a patient of mine, began to cackle. I peered over at the front entrance of the hospital and found a cute girl with pigtails in her hair being mocked by a seven year old child.

I shook my head at how she allowed children's words to affect her, but then again, she had also allowed herself to be bullied by Yuuki at first.

"She looks like a clown!" Nami yelled with a malicious smile.

"No I don't…" Kotoko said. Nami ran away from her mother over to me.

"Wait, don't run!" Her mother chased her.

"Look, it's Dr. Irie, mom." The child clung to my arm. Kotoko spun around, scandalized, and went to the waiting room seats.

"No running in hospitals, Nami-chan." I said and she grinned.

"Yes, doctor." A sweet child, she was, but also going through some traumas of her own, including losing her father so young, "You know who I saw just now? A lady who looked just like a clown."

"A lady who looked just like a clown? I would've liked to have seen that."

"I wonder where she went."

"Hi, doctor." Her mother, Akemi, said.

"It's good to see you today. Has everything been going smoothly?" I asked, as Nami was a bit of a handful when it came to her medications.

"Yes, it has." The woman flipped her hair behind her ear.

Nami then shoved her mother right into me headfirst. Akemi stumbled and balanced herself.

"Oh, are you alright?" I said, catching her arm. She turned on Nami quickly.

"What are you doing? I'm so sorry, doctor. She's such a rascal." She hid her face.

"My mom takes forever to do her makeup when she comes to see you." Nami told me.

"What are you talking about, Nami? Stop it." Akemi held a slight blush, "Anyway, Dr. Irie, do you have time to see me today?" She said.

"Of course." I said, as we liked to go over Nami's procedures occasionally and discuss next steps.

"5pm in Central Park?"

"Okay."

"Hey!" Nami cut in, pointing at the chairs, "I found the clown lady!" Kotoko stood off to the side, seeming concerned, "Do you know her?"

"Yeah." I said as she came closer.

"What is the clown lady to you, then?" Nami crossed her arms. Kotoko finally made it to my side and looped her arm around mine, watching the floor.

"Nami, don't be so rude." Akemi said.

"I highly doubt it, but is she your girlfriend?" Nami narrowed her eyes.

"You stop that." Her mother bent down to her level.

"I wouldn't say girlfriend…" Kotoko said, blushing.

"She's not." I said, thinking only of Kotoko's reaction. But Nami ran with it.

"I knew it was impossible." Nami giggled, almost relieved.

"Watch it." Akemi had the death grip on Nami's arm, and I wondered if even that ever stopped her, "I'm so sorry."

"She's my wife." I added. The way both of their jaws dropped made me want to smile, but I didn't for the sake of not offending patients.

"No…" Nami said, her face having dropped. I felt bad for the child. I knew she wanted me to be with her mother.

"It's true." I said.

"No it's not. I don't believe it." I nearly expected her to start crying.

"Nami…"

"Because you have to marry my mom!"

 _Oh boy._

"She's prettier," Nami looked down, "She's a super good cook, and…" The tears fell and I got to my knees.

"Nami-chan, I can't do that." I said. She sniffed and wiped away her tears with one hand.

"Stupid!" She called me as she ran away.

"Wait, don't run!" I said. There were reasons she wasn't supposed to run… not to over-exert herself, her heart being fragile.

Nami slowed and clutched her heart. She fell onto the hospital floor.

…

After admitting Nami and speaking with her mother, Kotoko and I headed over to my apartment. Kotoko made me a coffee as I sat to explain to her the situation.

"The mother and daughter are both named Shiina. Nami has a heart congenital condition." I said, taking a sip. It had been a while since I'd had the taste, "I'm not her attending doctor, but I try to be there for her as she's taken with me."

Kotoko hugged a pillow and a sad look fell over her, "She seems so healthy."

"She might look that way now and acts so carefree, but she's prone to strokes. She had oce surgery when she was five, but the heart is a complex organ. She's going to need another heart now." I stopped for a moment to take a breath, "Since she lost her father two years ago, though, she's scared that the surgery might do the same to her. It's been hard trying to get her to agree to it."

Kotoko nodded. She seemed to be in deep thought.

"Wait… are you going to be a pediatrician?" I gave her a funny look.

"Didn't you know?" I said. Of course, when I'd transferred to Kobe for their pediatric internship, I thought it would've been picked up on.

"No, I thought you were going to be a surgeon." She got this goofy smile on her face.

"I'm studying pediatrics here. I have been for months." I said, "At first I was considering becoming a surgeon, but as I went over my options more, I thought about what I really wanted to do in the field. Why did I want to be a doctor?"

I'd wanted to be a doctor for reasons she'd brought up. I'd wanted it for kids like Yuuki's friend in the hospital. I'd wanted it because when she'd said it, I could all of a sudden see myself doing it.

"Why _did_ you want to be a doctor?" I sighed, feeling like I was three years or so in the past. Feeling as though I couldn't tell her why.

"It's nothing. Forget it." This, of course, egged her on.

"What? What is it?" Kotoko said with a giant grin. I moved for the bed.

"It's a secret. Let's go to bed." She followed me there.

"Hey, _wait_! I want to know!" She whined.

 _You._

I took her face in my hand, kissing her. It shut her up and slowed her down, but I wasn't sure if it would be enough of an answer.

"Goodnight." I said, happy to not be alone for at least one night. And we went to bed.


End file.
